Quotes About Humor

I've been ridiculed by silk-suited lawyers, jailed by ornery judges, and occasionally paid for services rendered. I never intended to be a hero, and I succeeded.

I'm a burger and brew guy in a paté and Chardonnay world. I'm as health conscious as the next guy, as long as the next guy is sitting on a bar stool. FALSE DAWN http://tinyurl.com/64qngk5

at first I thought you were just using me she said I definitely am. I just wasn't sure for what. Asshole! she said, and punched me in the side. And she laughed as my kidney began to hemorrhage. That's the beauty of honesty. Everyones so unused to hearing it they just assume you're kidding, and you get to feel very good and forthcoming without suffering any consequences except for traces of blood in your urine for the next day or two.

Sitting on my stool I thought of a bumper sticker: If Mean People Suck, Why Isn't My Dick In Your Mouth?

If stealing a few saltshakers was wrong I didn't want to be right.

Mockery when done without prejudice or discretion, can be a form of respect. It's the closest we'll ever come to true equality.

Lying to other people is fine and usually funny, but lying to yourself is tacky.

Two wrongs don't make a right but sometimes they make me laugh. I am a vengeful god.

let me understand this musical theater nonsense—you're being gay for credit, right?

The universe loves irony even more than it loves futility.

The saddest task for the ironist is having to tell the listener that it's a joke, because of course it is never a joke.

because for me, Harry Potter is a Taco Bell 7-Layer Burrito.

Teasing, especially the public sort, as well as the joshing in a joking relationship, always contains an element of hostility.

For Sale: Complete set of encylopedias. Never used. Wife knows everything.

Laughter is good for the soul and all your interior works.

He saw her bright, fierce little face break into laughter when the crowd laughed. It was good. Laughter is good for the soul and all your interior works.

Laugh at your worries and insecurities. View your anxieties with humor. It will be difficult at first, but you'll gradually get used to it.

y en la risotada de un país gozoso con el chiste fácil que humilla a los débiles.

Honesty without kindness, humor, and goodheartedness can be just mean.

I'd like to encourage us all to lighten up, to practice with a lot of gentleness. This is not the drill sergeant saying, "Lighten up or else." I have found that if we can possibly use anything we hear against ourselves, we usually do.

In the most ordinary terms, egolessness is a flexible identity. It manifests as inquisitiveness, as adaptability, as humor, as playfulness. It is our capacity to relax with not knowing, not figuring everything out, with not being at all sure who we are, or who anyone else is, either.

It manifests as inquisitiveness, as adaptability, as humor, as playfulness. It is our capacity to relax with not knowing, not figuring everything out, with not being at all sure about who we are—or who anyone else is either.

egolessness is a flexible identity. It manifests as inquisitiveness, as adaptability, as humor, as playfulness. It is our capacity to relax with not knowing, not figuring everything out, with not being at all sure about who we are, or who anyone else is, either. Every moment is unique, unknown, completely fresh. For a warrior-in-training, egolessness is a cause of joy rather than a cause of fear.

Natural warmth is our shared capacity to love, to have empathy, to have a sense of humor. It is also our capacity to feel gratitude and appreciation and tenderness. It's the whole gamut of what often are called the heart qualities, qualities that are a natural part of being human. Natural warmth has the power to heal all relationships—the relationship with ourselves as well as with people, animals, and all that we encounter every day of our lives.