Quotes About Humor

What's wrong with you?" Kinkajou blurted. "You look terrible." "Could be worse," Icicle snarled. "I could look like you.

about superstrength," Winter growled. "And whatever that other one can do." "Make bananas," Qibli filled in. "Absolutely terrifying. Run for your life.

Hey, sparkling teeth, I totally love three of your claws but not the others, and I wish your nose was a herring so I could eat it, and also your wings sound like sharks snoring.

And whatever that other one can do." "Make bananas," Qibli filled in. "Absolutely terrifying. Run for your life.

I did not kill twenty dragons. Maybe two. On two separate occasions, and I had to.

feeding enormous talking cockroaches and cleaning out monster spider dens would serve her right.

she said. "Hilarious. As if you'd have survived this long out here. Your minders

They made him [Stephen] a little canvas boat, and it was thought that if he were obliged to wear two sea-elephant's bladders, blown up and attached to his person, he could not come to harm in such a placid sea; but after an unfortunate experience in which he became involved in his umbrella and it was found that the bladders buoyed up his meagre hams alone, so that only the presence of Babbington's Newfoundland preserved him, he was forbidden to go unaccompanied.

Virtue should always be colmingled with humor.

He that would make a pun would pick a pocket.

He found Jack well into his dinner and sat down beside him. 'Will I confess a grave sin? he asked. 'Do, by all means,' said Jack, looking at him kindly. 'But if you managed to commit a grave sin between the gunroom and here you have a wonderful capacity for evil.

He was smiling openly when Stephen walked in, looking shrewish. Like many large, florid, good-natured men, Jack Aubrey was afflicted with an undue proportion of small pale, meagre friends of a shrewish turn.

should very much like to see your excrement.' 'You shall, my dear sir, you shall.

it is a dreadful thing to have a whole carriageful of people draw up at your door and leap out grinning, the house all ahoo, carpets taken up, a great washing going on, the children bawling, yourself confined to the head, having taken physic, and your wife gone to Pompey in hopes of a new cook.

I mean to digest my buzzard in my cot. - Stephen Maturin

the Army saw slang as a morale builder no matter how cynical it became.

Riddler: You want to tell me who you killed and why? Catwoman: We didn't kill anyone Poisson Ivy: Well, not yesterday

The subterranean homesick clown

On one university campus there is a fifty-foot-tall pair of leaning tubes, ten feet in diameter, painted various shades of red and orange, and apparently struggling with each other. The maker has named it The Covenant. Students wisely call it Dueling Tampons.

Ha ha! How do you like my storm?

Before you develop a conscience, torture is amusing.

If you'll laugh about something one day, you may as well start now.

So Bush won reelection, as I used to joke, by posing as America's defender against gay married terrorists.

Solomon's Laws: 8. If a guy who's smart, handsome, and rich invites you and your girlfriend to a nudist club...chances are he's got a giant shmeckel .