Quotes About Humor

I had only four hairs worth shaving, but I managed to inflict five cuts attempting to remove them.

The good thing about masturbation is that you don't have to get dressed up for it.

Girl3 "You don't have to be a jerk" SlingBlade "Quite the contrary, my sloppy penile scholar.Order me another drink and be quick about it.

I don't know. I never smoked AstroTurf.

Smile in front of the queen?" she said with a feigned gasp of disapproval. 'Surely that's not allowed!

He [Riptide] sighed. "I said, 'What are you doing all the way out here?' and you said, 'Hey, sparkling teeth, I totally love three of your claws but not the others, and I wish your nose was a herrig so I could eat it, and also your wings sound like sharks snoring.'" Tsunami burst out laughing.

What is with you and faces?" Qibli said. "You should try threatening someone's elbows or ankles once in a while, just for a change of pace.

Everyone stop moving!" he bellowed. "Especially you, chickens! CHICKENS, GIVE UP! WE'RE GOING TO EAT YOU! THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT! STOP RUNNING AWAY RIGHT NOW!

Great," Glory said. "How about a trail of cow parts, too? And a map of where we're going? Or perhaps we could set this part of the forest on fire, just to make sure everyone knows how to find us. Would you like me to spell out 'DRAGONETS WUZ HERE' in giant rocks?

All right, I'll wait another two thousand years to make jokes about my evilness.

You're right," she said. "All my life I have desperately wanted an ugly necklace." "Hey," Chameleon protested, as Queen Scarlet gave a shout of laughter.

You'd better be all right or I will tie you to a tree and cover you with hallucinogenic frogs. Tamarin, please wake up.

Well, except she didn't tell me about the stealth RainWing bodyguards she put on me. That was pretty hilarious. Everyone should suddenly have the air turn into seven bright purple dragons yelling hysterically whenever she gets attacked.

I like the one where we melt everyone's eyeballs on our way out the door," Glory said. "With magical death spit," Sunny said, then buried her head in Clay's wings to hide her giggles as Glory glared at her. "Three

If you have too much of a plan, it'll show up in Darkstalker's view of the future," Anemone observed. "See, so it's actually better to wing it," said Qibli. "Ha ha, dragon pun, wing it. I'm hilarious." He did a little flip in the air.

Coconut," he whispered. "Um. Would you please go hit my grandfather?" The

Sundew tugged the scarf a little higher up Bumblebee's neck. "Our turn, little bug. Stay very still and do NOT distract me, understand?" "Ooobeegoo," Bumblebee said sternly. She patted Sundew's face. "Do NOBBY splamflamp." "I wasn't planning on being splamflamp," Sundew retorted, "whatever that is.

I have a cockatoo," Willow was saying to Cricket. "Her name is Talkatoo and she's the smartest bird in the world SUNDEW STOP LAUGHING AT ME." She shoved Sundew's shoulder affectionately. "I was only a little older than

With punching and biting?" Swordtail suggested hopefully. "And maybe some venomous caterpillars?" "I like the way you think," Sundew said. "But they're centipedes, dingbat.

Make bananas," Qibli filled in. "Absolutely terrifying. Run for your life.

Want me to drop a mango on her?" Sundew offered. "You have a MANGO?" Swordtail asked indignantly. "No, you acorn. It's a metaphorical mango." "I don't see how metaphorical mangoes are going to do us any good," Swordtail muttered.

Frog-faced blobs of camel spit?

Everyone stop moving!" he bellowed. "Especially you, chickens! CHICKENS, GIVE UP! WE'RE GOING TO EAT YOU! THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT! STOP RUNNING AWAY RIGHT NOW!" "SQUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWK!" the chickens shrilled back.

You said, 'Hey, sparkling teeth, I totally love three of your claws but not the others, and I wish your nose was a herring so I could eat it, and also your wings sound like sharks snoring.