Quotes About Humor

Fiecare reuniune are un moment anume in care se sparge. Ajuns la maturitate, mi se intampla de multe ori sa incerc sa identific acest moment, temandu-ma in acelasi timp, de inevitabilul care urmeaza sa se produca. Musafirii vor repeta aceleasi poante, iar la un moment dat, va fi prea mult - sau vei ramane fara iarba sau bautura, si-ti dai astfel seama ca atat ati avut in comun.

I met a Bulgarian. "In my country, you say to someone you hate, 'May you build a house from your kidney stones.

Strip to your underwear," she told me, and I said, "D'accord." As the woman turned to leave, she said something else, and, looking back, I really should have asked her to repeat it, to draw a picture if that's what it took, because once you take your pants off, d'accord isn't really OK anymore.

SANTA HAS A TUMOR IN HIS HEAD THE SIZE OF AN OLIVE. MAYBE IT WILL GO AWAY TOMORROW BUT I DON'T THINK SO.

my family's asshole.

Imi place sa vad oamenii dezbracati, dar nu sunt sigur ca sunt pregatit sa ma vad pe mine dezbracat. Cel mult voi scapa de cateva kilorame din cauza anxietatii si voi iesi castigat de doua ori. Cu cut sunt mai putin obligat sa ma accept asa cum sunt, cu atat mai usor imi va fi. Deja simt ca mi-a pierit apetitul.

My mother was, for the most part, delighted with my brother and regarded him with the bemused curiosity of a brood hen discovering she has hatched a completely different species.

My dad was like the Marine Corps. Only instead of tearing you to pieces and then putting you back together, he just did the first part and called it a day. Now it seems cruel, abusive even, but this all happened before the invention of self-esteem, which frankly, I think is a little overrated.

Maybe you should grow a Vandyke." I didn't say that I'd rather have herpes, as the doctor had a Vandyke himself. It looked like he'd taken a big gulp from a mugful of hair.

Miss Spakey, isn't it ironic that while I was busy adding and subtracting you were dividing and trying to multiply.' " I know this is bad.

And there's no point in me doing anything if I can't write about it," I continued. "It would be like . . . walking ten miles without my Fitbit on—a complete waste. I mean, I do do things I don't write about: I use the bathroom, I have sex, but I try to be quick about it.

The squirrel and the chipmunk had been dating for two weeks when they ran out of things to talk about.

Whenever we passed the place [Dix Hill, the local state mental hospital], my sisters and I would stick our heads out the car window, expecting to hear a hysterical voice cackling, "I'm mad, I tell you, MAD!" The patient would embrace his lunacy as though it were a treasure he had discovered hidden beneath the floor-boards. "Mad! mad!

She offered to have my glasses fixed but drew the line when I asked for a brand-new pair. "But the ones I've got make me look like a bozo." "Well, of course they do," she said. "They're glasses. That's their job.

Over time I grew accustomed to the sight of a friend's colostomy bag and came to think of Kent State as something of an I.V. League university. The state would pay your board if you roomed with

Most movies and TV shows get drugs wrong. Someone takes a bong hit and spends the next few hours laughing uncontrollably. Someone takes acid and steps into the Sergeant Pepper cover. Six Feet Under gets drugs right, so after taking the mushrooms, Claire and her friend hole up in the bedroom, using the sewing machine and wishing they lived in the nineteenth century.

The Times came last night; tonight it was Newsday and the Voice. I want to tell them we were just joking. It's not a real play, it's what comes from doodling while you're holding a bong.

May 9, 1989 Again this year I made Mom a Mother's Day card. It reads: M is for the Morbid things you showed me, O is for the Other things you did T is for the Thousand bucks you owe me H is for things you found I Hid E is for the Error of my caring R is for the Ranch house you call home Mother dear, I wish that you had shown me How to shave and how to use a comb.

When will you stop laughing at misery? I'm so sick and tired of your pseudo-strength. All I want you to do is laugh at what is funny and cry at what isn't, but you won't do that, will you?

Hay juegos que debemos tomar en serio, como el poquer, ahi hay dinero de por medio. Pero la guerra? Es un chiste.

Round these parts, we do stupid in a whole 'nother way. I can't quite decide whether our people's motto should be 'Hey, y'all! Watch this!' or 'Somebody hold mah beer!

And Strell laughed.

Satire is people as they are; romanticism, people as they would like to be; realism, people as they seem with their insides left out.

I cannot exist without the oxygen of laughter.