Quotes About Humor

The reason I turn down 99% of a hundred, I mean a thousand, scripts is because romantic comedies are often very romantic but seldom very funny.

I'm a laugh tart. I make no secret of that fact.

Now, where did I leave my time-machine? Oh I know, next Wednesday.

So unless we're going to get down on our knees and give thanks every time disaster misses, it makes no sense to moan when it strikes. Us, or anyone else. Because we're not comparing it with anything. And anyway, we're all dead, or never born, and the whole thing really is a dream. There, you see. That's a funny side.

Screw you in the ass with an anglepoise lamp

The first item was fighting under the name 'Crostini of Mealed Tarroce, with Benatore Potatoes' and weighed in at an impressive twelve pounds sixty-five. The Ralph Lauren blonde came over and asked me if I needed any help with the menu, and I asked her to explain what potatoes were. She didn't laugh.

Even so, it was a goodish yarn, with plenty of derring-do, and I added some derring-didn' t-really-but-it-sounds-good, just to keep up her glowing opinion of me.

Happiness is the twinkle in your grandmother's eye as you reverse the tractor off her legs.

It is the middle of December now, and we are about to travel to Switzerland - where we plan to ski a little, relax a little, and shoot a Dutch politician a little.

Above all else: go out with a sense of humor. It is needed armor. Joy in one's heart and some laughter on one's lips is a sign that the person down deep has a pretty good grasp of life.

Carry laughter with you wherever you go.

Life has become immeasurably better since I have been forced to stop taking it seriously.

When I retired, she told me the problem with retired husbands is that you get twice as much husband but only half as much money. She has a very valid point.

I think a lot of people are frightened of technology and frightened of change, and the way to deal with something you're frightened of is to make fun of it. That's why science fiction fans are dismissed as geeks and nerds.

The 1944 pamphlet advising US troops on how to behave in wartime Britain, which is being re-published by the Imperial War Museum, was not the first of its kind. I still have a copy of one given to my mother in 1943, which contains the following gem: "The British don't know how to make a good cup of coffee. You don't know how to make a good cup of tea. It's an even swap." Willie Montgomery Norwich

What do you mean, funny? Funny peculiar or funny ha-ha?

Funny-peculiar or funny-ha-ha

My mother was a terrific force in my life. Wartime-generation woman, hadn't gone to university but should have done. Was very funny, very verbal, very clever, very witty.

Well, anyway, this'll be easier than knocking an elf out of a tree. Trust me.' 'How many elves have you knocked out of trees, Stubble?' 'Duraden's bones! Have ye never heard of a figure of speech?

I think sometimes my humor is extremely dry, and a lot of times I would say things that I thought were very funny but... I have a reputation of - people think of me as a very fundamentalist, humorless fellow.

Amazing how a simple satire on satire could have such an effect.

Ladies and gentlemen, cizzens, I give you—satire!

satire is not a thing the Compassionate Society has a need for anymore. It's good, it's clever, damn it, it's funny, but it's not Socially Responsible." She could hear the capitals slamming into place like steel teeth.

She had never really known why the Ministry of Pain called its aerial slouch-craft "pantycars." Maybe in certain lights, from certain angles, they did look like jet-propelled underwear.