Quotes About Humor

An onion can make people cry, but there has never been a vegetable invented to make them laugh.

You know horses are smarter than people. You never heard of a horse going broke betting on people.

The difference between death and taxes is death doesn't get worse every time Congress meets.

Get all the good laughs you can.

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to someone else.

The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn't get worse every time Congress meets.

I don't make jokes, I just watch the government and report the facts.

Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to someone else.

Tommy Lee Jones is hilarious. I would say, if you look at the body of his work, the character he is most like is the one in 'The Fugitive.' That's how he talks and jokes. That is the type of energy he has.

A well-developed sense of humor is the pole that adds balance to your steps as you walk the tightrope of life.

We can learn much from wise words, little from wisecracks, and less from wise guys.

The Stoics, as we have seen, recommend that we use humor to deflect insults: Cato cracked a joke when someone spit in his face, as did Socrates when someone boxed his ears. Seneca suggests that besides being an effective response to an insult, humor can be used to prevent ourselves from becoming angry: "Laughter," he says, "and a lot of it, is the right response to the things which drive us to tears!

Self-deprecating humor has become my standard response to insults. When someone criticizes me, I reply that matters are even worse than he is suggesting. If, for example, someone suggests that I am lazy, I reply that it is a miracle that I get any work done at all. If someone accuses me of having a big ego, I reply that on most days it is noon before I become aware that anyone else inhabits the planet.

We talked filth for a pleasant half hour.

I love to use these phrases - 'with the greatest respect', 'in all modest', 'I humbly submit' - which in fact always imply the complete opposite.

I did J.E.S.T. here when I was with the First

Prior to Wordsworth, humor was an essential part of poetry. I mean, they don't call them Shakespeare comedies for nothing.

I think humor is a very serious thing. I use it as a way of weakening the reader's defenses so that I can more easily take him to something more.

A wit should be no more sincere than a woman constant.

Courtship is to marriage, as a very witty prologue to a very dull play.

It is the business of a comic poet to paint the vices and follies of human kind.

Though marriage makes man and wife one flesh, it leaves 'em still two fools.

Every man plays the fool once in his lif marry is playing the fool all one's life, but to marry is to playing the fool all one's life long.

His wit invites you by his looks to come,But when you knock it never is at home.