Quotes About Humor

The nightmare is you spend the rest of your life being funny at parties and then people say, 'Why didn't you do that when you were on television?'

During last night's debate, John Kerry and John Edwards were so friendly to each other some political experts think that they may end up running together. In fact Kerry and Edwards were so friendly, President Bush accused them of planning a gay marriage.

Applaud my idiocy.

Starbucks says they are going to start putting religious quotes on cups. The very first one will say, "Jesus! This cup is expensive!

If I existed 200 years ago, all the other farmers in my community would be like, 'That guy is worthless! He's sitting on a rock, jumping up like a frog, coming up with weird concepts and ideas, making faces, and combing his hair into a giant pastry.' It's a good thing I was born in this century, when superfluous television seems to be part of the economy.

I've always believed, in my heart of hearts, that it would be a better show if, when I crossed over to the desk, the band kept playing for an hour and I danced in a cage.

Conan O'Brien

Just programmed my Alexa to order a pizza if I shout incoherently for more than 10 seconds

The funniest people are the saddest once

The funniest people are the saddest ones

Now there's nothing wrong with Booker prize novels - we all have wobbling tables or draughts coming in under the door

They had been married for almost forty years and grown old together in what he called the 'gentle harness'. It was a phrase he had used many times to amuse her, one of many he would utter just to see her smile. The humour may have been lost over the years, but the memory of it and the affection remained.

There's something about Southern women that is so unique yet so universal. Strong southern women are allowed to be soft and feminine and have a sense of humor. But what I love about Southern women in particular is their universality.

I find sarcasm before noon sours the stomach.

Beverly?" she said. "Lady Evelyn." "Are you a confirmed misogynist or am I special?" His smile was sublime. "My appreciation of the fairer sex is universal, madame.

We have a certain warped sense of humor in Scandinavia, and that is what comes across in the choices in a lot of our movies.

Actually, writers have no business writing about their own works. They either wax conceited, saying things like: 'My brilliance is possibly most apparent in my dazzling short story, "The Cookiepants Hypotenuse."' Or else they get unbearably cutesy: 'My cat Ootsywootums has given me all my best ideas, hasn't oo, squeezums?

There are at least five effective pathways for traveling inward to gain insight into the composition of our shadow: (1) soliciting feedback from others as to how they perceive us; (2) uncovering the content of our projections; (3) examining our "slips" of tongue and behavior, and investigating what is really occurring when we are perceived other than we intended to be perceived; (4) considering our humor and our identifications; and (5) studying our dreams, daydreams, and fantasies.

An emotional man may possess no humor, but a humorous man usually has deep pockets of emotion, sometimes tucked away or forgotten.

I don't see why I should be washed as well as hanged," quoth Kit. from "The Memoirs of Jack Chelwood

Change is seen as something evil only by those who have lost their youth or sense of humor.

She suppressed a grin.

My favorite show is America's Funniest Home Videos. People will get hit on the head and I feel bad cause I'm laughing my head off!

A member of my family, who shall remain nameless, refers to all newborns as 'blobs'.