Quotes About Humor

There are certain things I learned when I first started learning about acting, to try and place the character physically and emotionally. And the way you place them emotionally is often with humor.

I'm always trying to perfect the romantic comedy, though.

I enjoy comedy and I hope that people enjoy watching me do it.

I've looked at the world for quite a few years now and I've found that if I don't laugh, I'll probably end up crying." - Prince Kheldar of Drasnia

Its a perfectly good face, Sparhawk." "It covers the front of my head. What else can you expect from a face?

For a romantic comedy to be three hours long, that's longer than most marriages.

Make no mistake: irony tyrannizes us.

He's turned his life around. He used to be depressed and miserable. Now he's miserable and depressed.

It's got the right combination of content, what Mackley calls the "Three S's": sex, stupidity, and schadenfreude.

Compliance with legitimate authority was also apparent in the strange case of the "rectal ear ache" (Cohen & Davis, 1981). A doctor ordered eardrops for a patient suffering infection in the right ear. On the prescription, the doctor abbreviated "place in right ear" as "place in R ear." Reading the order, the compliant nurse put the required drops in the compliant patient's rectum.

I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters.

Kirk: How close will we come to the nearest Klingon outpost if we continue on our present course? Chekov: Vun parsec, sir. Close enough to smell them. Spock: That is illogical, ensign. Odors cannot travel through the vacuum of space. Chekov: I vas making a little joke, sir. Spock: Extremely little, ensign.

When people ask what I do, I say: "I'm a teacher." or: "I proofread legal documents." or: "I hand out jalapeño humus dip at Trader Joe's." I say, to myself, mostly: "I'm alive, motherfucker. What else do you want?"

I was walking down the street with a friend the other day and a guy with a gun jumps out of an alley and says "Stick 'em up." As I pull out my wallet, I figure, "Shouldn't be a total loss." So I pull out some money, turn to my friend and say, "Hey, Fred, here's that fifty bucks I owe you." The robber was so offended he took out a thousand dollars of his own money, forced Fred to lend it to me at gunpoint, and then took it back again.

The preponderance of canned laughter on the American boob tube presents the viewer with a conundrum of three choices without the possibility of answering incorrectly. 1. The material is not that funny. 2. The audience is really that stupid. 3. Both 1 and 2.

Satirists are merely impatient obituary writers.

CONFUSE the Google Street View car by running alongside it dressed as a house.

It is quite true, as some poets said, that the God who created man must have had a sinister sense of humor, creating him a reasonable being, yet forcing him to take this ridiculous posture, and driving him with blind craving for this ridiculous performance.

Stop teasing me, doc. You haven't got the tits for it.

Tristram Shandy may perhaps go on a little longer, but we will not follow him. With all his drollery there is a sameness of extravagance which tires us. We have just a succession of Surprise, surprise, surprise.

Sometimes in the most tragic situation, something just profoundly funny happens.

Oh my lord," Smiley exclaims. "We've got to roll her off of Billy before he smothers to death.

I don't play the tuba. The tuba plays me. My tuba is not actually a tuba, because it has never produced a musical sound. It is actually a giant frog pretending to be a tuba.

The fucking deer just took the fucking elevator.