Quotes About Humor

Absurdity is what I like most in life, and there's humor in struggling in ignorance. If you saw a man repeatedly running into a wall until he was a bloody pulp, after a while it would make you laugh because it becomes absurd.

Absurdity is what I like most in life.

Absurdity is what I like most in life, and there's humor in struggling in ignorance. If you saw a man repeatedly running into a wall until he was a bloody pulp, after a while it would make you laugh because it becomes absurd.

The best ideas come as jokes. Make your thinking as funny as possible.

My greatest fear is that the audience will beat me to the punch line.

I'm not the guy to ask about politics. I'm a gag writer.

I'm not God but if I were God, ¾ of you would be girls, and the rest would be pizza and beer.

I don't think I've ever stepped into a gym - they won't let me smoke there. I just thank God Miller Lite isn't as fattening as most beers. If I cut back on beer, though, I'd look anorexic.

And God said 'Let there be Satan, so people don't blame everything on me. And let there be lawyers, so people don't blame everything on Satan.'

God often gives nuts to toothless people.

My God, so much I like to drink Scotch that sometimes I think my name is Igor Stra-whiskey.

If God had meant for us to walk, why did he give us feet that fit car pedals?

In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.

If God had wanted us to use the metric system, Jesus would have had 10 apostles.

Sometimes I thank God... for cheeseburgers.

The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.

Shane? Thank God, somebody sane. Well, sane-ish.

If there is a God, his plan is very similar to someone not having a plan.

A sense of humour is the only divine quality of man

Psychiatrists say that 1 of 4 people are mentally ill. Check 3 friends. If they are okay, you're it.

Wow," Thalia muttered. "Apollo is hot." "He's the sun god," I said. "That's not what I meant.

Laughter kills fear, and without fear there can be no faith. For without fear of the devil there is no need for God.

My dear, did you just try to prove the existence of God with your cleavage?

I don't know what reception I'm at, but for God's sake give me a gin and tonic.