Quotes About Humor

God didn't give me the ability to play the piano, or paint a picture or have compassion. But... he did give me the ability to crack a walnut with my hoo-ha.

Since Jesus was human then he most assuredly farted and burped. And if God did create us in God's image then God must fart and burp as well.

Oh dear,' says God, 'I hadn't thought of that,' and promptly vanishes in a puff of logic.

If God had wanted me to lose weight he would have made sure there was creamed spinach for dessert.

How can one better magnify the Almighty than by sniggering with him at his little jokes, particularly the poorer ones?

Take away the Big Bang and what has God done? Burned a bush and got a girl pregnant. Great, he's a high school junior.

Don't forget, God can see you masturbating. But don't stop. He's almost there.

On her son Rene: Oh my God, when he's 20 years old what's going to happen to me? I'm gonna marry him.

I think god gave us talent because he screwed up our hair

God always has another custard pie up his sleeve.

Surely if God had meant us to do yoga, he would have put our heads behind our knees.

Her faith in a loving and forgiving God is strong, but she worships laughter.

Why are we not grateful to God for filling our stockings with legs?

Somebody should tell Jerry Falwell that God is an Independent . . . he's not rich enough to be a Republican.

She has BIG feet! Oh my god, have you seen Sandra Bullocks feet? They're like the size of rulers!

Ever since then I have believed that God is not only a gentleman and a sport; he is a Kentuckian too.

I knew a mathematician who said 'I do not know as much as God. But I know as much as God knew at my age'.

Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

I'm John Morrison, and if God have 2 sons i would be the better looking one.

A Christian will say... "I believe God created me in one day" Yeah, looks liked He rushed it.

Oh--won't we party hard when L.A. goes kersplash?...L.A. fell in the ocean?... There is a God. He loves us all so much.

God is great, beer is good, and people are crazy.

I have the gift of laughter. I can make people laugh at will. In good times and in bad. And that I don't question. It was a gift from God.

God has a sense of humor. If you don't believe me, tomorrow go to wal-mart and just look at people.