Quotes About Humor

Aye, well, he'll be wed a long time, he said callously. Do him no harm to keep his breeches on for one night. And they do say that abstinence makes the heart grow firmer, no? Absence, I said, dodging the spoon for a moment. AND fonder. If anything's growing firmer from abstinence, it wouldn't be his heart.

I dinna know what's a sadist. And if I forgive you for this afternoon, I reckon you'll forgive me, too, as soon as ye can sit down again. As for my pleasure... His lip twitched. I said I would have to punish you. I did not say I wasna going to enjoy it. He crooked a finger at me. Come here.

Sassenach," he said against my shoulder, a moment later. "Mm?" "Who in God's name is John Wayne?" "You are," I said. "Go to sleep.

This wife you have, Bird said at last, deeply contemplative, did you pay a great deal for her? She cost me almost everything I had, he said, with a wry tone that made the others laugh. But worth it.

I'll leave it to you, Sassenach, he said dryly, to imagine what it feels like to arrive unexpectedly in the midst of a brothel, in possession of a verra large sausage.

What possessed ye, woman, to hit me in the heid wi' a fish whilst I was fighting for my life?

Well I am still not drunk I straightened up against the pillows as best I could. You told me once that if you could still stand up, you weren't drunk. You aren't standing up. he point out. You are.

Jamie shook his head at me admiringly. "And here I thought I married you because ye had a fair face and a fine fat arse. To think you've a brain as well!" He neatly dodged the blow I aimed at his ear, and grinned at me.

He bent and kissed me briefly, then headed for the door. Just short of it, though, he turned back. The, um, sperms ... he said, a little awkwardly. Yes? Can ye not take them out and give them decent burial or something? I hid my smile in my teacup. I'll take good care of them, I promised. I always do, don't I?

I would not piss on him was he burning in the flames of hell, Grey said politely. One of Hal's brows flicked upward, but only momentarily. Just so, he said dryly. The question, though, is whether Fraser might be inclined to perform a similar service for you. Grey placed his cup carefully in the center of the desk. Only if he thought I might drown, he said, and went out.

Oh, womanly sympathy, love AND food? I said, laughing. Don't want a lot, do you?

I thought he said you weren't drunk if you could find your arse with both hands." He eyed me appraisingly. "I hate to tell ye, Sassenach, but it's not your arse ye've got hold of—it's mine." "That's all right," I assured him. "We're married. Share and share alike. One flesh; the priest said so.

Does it bother you that I'm not a virgin? He hesitated a moment before answering. Well, no, he said slowly, so long as it doesna bother you that I am. He grinned at my drop-jawed expression, and backed toward the door. Reckon one of us should know what they're doing.

He wanted to ask whether she were insane, but he had been married long enough to know the price of injudicious rhetorical questions.

You don't have any hair at all at the tops of your thighs, I said, admiring the smooth white skin there. Why is that, do you think? The cow licked it off the last time she milked me, he said between his teeth. For God's sake, Sassenach!

Men would eat horse droppings, if ye served them wi' butter.

Sassenach," he said against my shoulder, a moment later. "Mm? "Who in God's name is John Wayne?" "You are," I said. "Go to sleep.

Do ye want me to be a horse, a bear, or a dog?" "A hedgehog." "A hedgehog? And just how does a hedgehog make love?" he demanded. No, I thought. I won't. I will not. But I did. "Very carefully," I replied, giggling helplessly. So now we know just how old that one is, I thought.

I am thinking that you're verra beautiful, Sassenach, he said softly. Maybe if one has a taste for gooseflesh on a large scale, I said tartly, stepping out of the tub and reaching for the cup. He grinned suddenly at me, teeth flashing white in the dimness of the cellar. Oh, aye, he said. Well, you're speaking to the only man in Scotland who has a terrible cockstand at sight of a plucked chicken.

What, she's taken the hairs off her honeypot?" he said, horrified into uncharacteristic vulgarity.

I, ah, I wasn't expecting—" I said idiotically. Brianna gave me a grin to match her father's, eyes bright as stars and damp with happiness. "Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!" "What?" said Jamie blankly.

You'll have to keep it up for longer than that, if you expect ecstatic moans," I answered. "Two minutes doesn't deserve any more than a giggle.

Who needed the relief of occasional bad language more than a mother of small children? Maybe

I hadn't spent so much time in bemused contemplation of a penis since I was sixteen or so, and here I was, preoccupied with three of the things.