Quotes About Humor

he found he was suffering from laugh-deficit disorder.

He held the sandwich in his right hand, a cigarette in his left, alternating between the two. When witness to this, I always hoped that in error he would take a bite of the cigarette or attempt to smoke the sandwich, but he never became confused.

If one's friends do not openly laugh at him, they are not, in fact, his friends. How else would one learn to avoid saying those things that would elicit laughter from strangers? The mockery of friends is affectionate and inoculates against foolishness. ~Little Ozzie

Although much that was precious has been taken from me in this life, I have reason to remain an optimist. After the numerous tight scrapes I've been through, by now I should have lost one leg, three fingers, one buttock, most of my teeth, an ear, my spleen, and my sense of fun. But here I am.

I trusted providence to prevent a sneeze, refused to worry, declined to dwell on negative possibilities, and I did not sneeze, did not sneeze, still did not sneeze, but then I farted.

Bleachy ozone tingled in my sinuses, but I trusted providence to prevent a sneeze, refused to worry, declined to dwell on negative possibilities, and I did not sneeze, did not sneeze, still did not sneeze, but then I farted.

I took comfort that its IQ, while no doubt high enough to allow it to run for elective office, seemed to be only a fraction of mine.

The famous British actress Beatrice Lillie was once onstage in Ontario, Canada, performing in Noël Coward's This Year of Grace, the entire cast lined up to one side of her. She was singing "Britannia Rules the Waves," when she mistakenly began to sing the second verse twice, before moving to the third. She realized what she was doing but had to carry forward with it. The cast froze in place instead of moving to center stage—which

BETWEEN BIRTH AND BURIAL, WE FIND OURSELVES in a comedy of mysteries. If

the optimist, unlike the pessimist, believes that life has meaning, that there is something to learn from every adversity, and even that the absurdity of such an excess of misfortune will likely seem at least somewhat amusing after enough time has passed.

Humor, faith, courage, compassion – these don't rot and vanish;

Between birth and burial, we find ourselves in a comedy of mysteries.

Women don't find me as appealing as they do, say, that singer Justin Bieber. But I take comfort from the fact that Justin Bieber wouldn't know how to escape from a walk-in freezer after being chained there by a couple of huge guys in porkpie hats. He couldn't sing his way out of a spot like that; inevitably, he would be a Biebersicle.

it grinned the foolish and charmingly witless grin of all dogs who had ever ridden shotgun in such a fashion. In

Between birth and burial, we find ourselves in a comedy of mysteries. If you don't think life is mysterious, if you believe you have it all mapped out, you aren't paying attention or you've anesthetized yourself with booze or drugs, or with a comforting ideology. And if you don't think life's a comedy—well, friend, you might as well hurry along to that burial. The rest of us need people with whom we can laugh.

I was finally convinced of something I had suspected for a long time: God has a sense of humor, and because the world is wondrous, God expects us to find reasons to smile even on the darkest days.

wouldn't that be ironic—run down by a hearse? God knows, life is often ironic in a way it's never shown on television.

Humor is emotional chaos remembered in tranquility. —James Thurber

Oh, there's nothing worse than those damned, Pope-kissing, potato-sucking Irish.

I'm a tea-swilling limey, too.

Not as bad as a Sherpa

Better than a peanut butter and onion sandwich?

As long as we're not soaked in blood and trying to stuff our intestines back into our bodies through a gut wound, we'll be okay.

It was a comedy of errors.