Quotes About Humor

Who could help laughing at a group of people who heatedly declared that God was dead and clung to the belief that Elvis was alive?

The pastor made a funny comment. He said that when he taught marriage classes most of those attending took naps. It was the divorce classes where everyone took notes.

I'm a woman. Forty-five in female years (which is about a hundred and thirty in male years - bastards).

he had kidded with us that if we didn't let go at the proper moment, he would slap our hands with a stick, and we had all laughed because who would be silly enough to hang on when they should let go?

Thought you didn't like red hair. One of Drew's dimples kicked in as he draped an arm about Grandma's shoulder. Must have me confused with someone else, but I'm not surprised. Seems to happen to most of the older set at some point or other.

Look. Isn't he beautiful? Drew's expression softened. Ah, Nellie. He's bald, pink, and has no teeth. What's so beautiful about that? Nellie's laugh tinkled out like musical chimes while she covered the babe back up.

Bugs Bunny with a double-barreled twelve-gauge shoots you in the head with a miracle.

His eyeballs look like he bought them in a joke shop.

Generally the closest I ever came to wondering about the meaning of it all was to consider that I must be the victim of a joke.

I want to kick Grandma in the penis

Chuck said, "Hey. How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?" Cawley looked over at him. "I'll bite. How many?" "Fish," Chuck said and let loose a bright bark of a laugh.

After my daughter was born, I'd considered buying a shotgun to ward off potential suitors fourteen or so years up the road. Now, as I listened to these girls babble and imagined Gabby one day talking with the same banality and ignorance of the English language, I thought of buying the same shotgun to blow my own fucking head off.

Baby, why are you all wet?

If Donald Trump puked, Copley Place is probably what would hit the toilet.

This is America . . . where every adult shall have the full and inalienable right to eat her young

Good humor has no age limit," I said, and she rolled her eyes.

Qué me dice de…? —miró a Phil, luego a mí y después apartó la vista. —¿Sí? —se interesó Barnett. —Bueno… creo que la bala estuvo dando vueltas por mis partes bajas y… —Sus órganos reproductores no se han visto afectados, señorita Gennaro. —Oh —exclamó ella mientras me pillaba sonriendo y me lanzaba una mirada asesina—. No digas ni una puta palabra, Patrick.

Montooth said. "What you hearing is just wind." "Wind of change maybe," Pearl Eyes said softly. "I'm old enough to know it when I feel it in my hair." Montooth smiled. "You ain't got much hair left." "That's 'cause the wind took it

Quanti psichiatri servono per cambiare una lampadina? -Non saprei. Quanti? -Otto. -E perché? -Ah, la smetta di iperanalizzare! Umorismo da strizza cervelli.

the fact that she completely obscured his view of the road was quite irrelevant since Asian drivers never look where they're going.

A certain Roland le Fartère was given a small manor in Suffolk by the king on condition that every Christmas he gave a jump, a whistle and a fart before Henry and his courtiers. (Unum saltum et siffletum et unum bumbulum.)

He's a Muslim , you know. Um-Nadia's voice is half-warning and half-laughter. Dark as an Egyptian. Ma! Mirielle shouts. Get a grip. Um-Nadia's grinning like it's one of her old jokes. And here is our beautiful Sirine, whiter than this. She takes a bite out of a whole peeled onion as if it were an apple.

A hedgehog? And just how does a hedgehog make love? he demanded. No, I thought. I won't. I will not. But I did. Very carefully, I replied, giggling helplessly. So now we know just how old that one is, I thought.

Why, what's the matter wi' the poor child? she demanded of Jamie. Has she had an accident o' some sort? No, it's only she's married me, he said, though if ye care to call it an accident, ye may.