Quotes About Humor

I can be quite sarcastic when I'm in the mood.

Sleep tight, ya morons!

Our language is funny — a fat chance and slim chance are the same thing.

Fig Newton: The force required to accelerate a fig 39.37 inches per sec.

The comedy that George Lucas put into Star Wars kind of was, for me, the thing that made me love the movie.

One of my favorite things about 'Star Trek' wasn't just the overt banter but the humor in that show about the relationships between the main characters and their reactions to the situations they would face there was a lot of comedy in that show without ever breaking its reality.

Why are you worrying about YOU-KNOW-WHO, when you should be worrying about YOU-NO-POO? The constipation sensation that's gripping the nation!

He can run faster than Severus Snape confronted with shampoo.

Oh well... I'd just been thinking, if you had died, you'd have been welcome to share my toilet.

Don't put your wand there, boy! ... Better wizards than you have lost buttocks, you know!

Percy wouldn't notice a joke if it danced naked in front of him wearing one of Dobby's hats.

Alas! Earwax!

It's lucky it's dark. I haven't blushed so much since Madam Pomfrey told me she liked my new earmuffs.

Sometimes you remind me a lot of James. He called it my 'furry little problem' in company. Many people were under the impression that I owned a badly behaved rabbit.

Can I have a look at Uranus too, Lavender?

I believe your friends Misters Fred and George Weasley were responsible for trying to send you a toilet seat. No doubt they thought it would amuse you.

The middle class is so funny, it's the class I know best, and it's the class where you find the most pretension, so that's what makes the middle classes so funny.

It is often said that Americans have no sense of history. Ask a college student who Jimmy Carter was and they will likely reply that he was a general in the Civil War, which occurred in 1492, when Americans dumped tea into the Gulf of Tonkin, sparking the First World War, which ended with the invasion of Grenada and the development of the cotton press.

i'm off to an island nation where formal wear consists of a leaf tired around a penis.

Christopher Hitchens once said that he drinks "because it makes other people less boring.

Douglas Thornton [an English Christian missionary to Cairo, Egypt with the Church Missionary Society from 1898-1907] was often more amusing than he tried to be. He had a delightful way of mixing up two kindred proverbs or idioms. Once he told his companions that he always had two strings up his sleeve. They then asked him if he had another card to his bow. Such exchanges enliven heavy committee eetings and create wholesome laughter.

Criticized for including humor in a sermon, Charles Spurgeon, eye twinkling, said: "If only you knew how much I hold back, you would commend me." Later

In some sort of crude sense which no vulgarity, no humor, no overstatement can quite extinguish, the physicists have known sin; and this is a knowledge which they cannot lose.

Every journalist has a novel in him, which is an excellent place for it.