Quotes About Humor

All the way to hell. In a fancy paper hat.

If you ever go bar hopping, who do you want to take with you? You want a slightly uglier version of yourself. Similar … but slightly uglier.

Oh, come on. If you can't laugh at the walking dead, who can you laugh at

I think that someone should do a version of Die Hard in heroic couplets.

There is, incidently, no way of talking about cats that enables one to come off as a sane person.

But that's crazy!" Pep said. "Who would attack the largest ball of twine in the world?" "The largest cat in the world?" suggested Coke.

Bowel movement?

Your mom is weird," I told Ryan.

We didn't chase her with scissors

Ms. Leakey and Mr. Granite hugged each other. They had a hard time separating after that because they were covered with glue. Everybody laughed.

That was Mrs. Roopy wearing a powdered wig and an army uniform." She may have been right, but I didn't want to admit it, because I hate her.

Courtesy of Dan Gutman and Jim Paillot DAN GUTMAN has

Ooooo!" Ryan said. "Miss Newman is kissing Luke Warm! They must be in love!" "When are they gonna get married?" asked Michael. "They just did, you dumbheads!" shouted Andrea.

funny. School

Yeah, what could possibly go wrong?" asked Coke, who in the last two weeks had been forced to jump off a cliff, dipped into boiling oil, drowned in ice cream, and gassed in a rest-stop bathroom. "Well, okay…" "Yay!

Yeah, if Mickey Mouse was a mass murderer.

And speaking of messy things, did you know that watermelons have really fancy weddings? Well, they cantaloupe.

alphabet and making farting noises with my armpits. But we all had to take a dumb test

The society ladies were all decked out, if you'll excuse the pun.

He was holding up a pair of underwear with the words WORLD'S LARGEST SOURCE OF NATURAL GAS on the back.

A.J.!" Miss Daisy said with her mean face. "Hold your tongue!" "Okay." So I stuck out my tongue and held onto it. Everybody laughed. Well, everybody but Emily and Miss Daisy.

Miss Daisy, if I can go to the bathroom even though I don't really have

Butt cheeks and belly button lint, Fart burgers on toast. I like to eat toenail clippings And earwax the most. Dumbheads and idiots And morons I hate. Armpits and dog doo And snot on my plate.   There

Miss Banks pulls lots of pranks