Quotes About Humor

It's not enough to tell the joke. You gotta sell the joke.

Be happy, be smart, be kind, and laugh every day — even if only maniacally

Murphy Brown is doing better than I am. At least she knows she still has a job next year.

If frogs had side pockets, they'd carry hand guns.

It's odd how violence and humor so often go together, isn't it?

Luckily, even as a young man not yet become himself, John Bridgens had two things besides indecision that kept him from self-destruction - books and a sense of irony.

Well, She's (She-Hulk) quippy. I'm quippy. When we get together, we quip. And, quipwise, I think that makes me a better quipper. -Spiderman

I would like to do something modern and possibly funny.

Gerry, you peed on Weems's car!" I shrugged. It seemed like the thing to do at the time.

What's German for "Holy shit, a big dog in a T-shirt and panties just stole my bag!"? If I kept this up, I might have to learn.

I tried to go out for theater or theater arts, but I was too scared or too intimidated. But I had a lot of friends on the cross country team that had great senses of humor.

I may be dead, but I ain't stupid.

She sashayed into the kitchen like she lived there, and grabbed two glasses from the counter, rinsed them in the sink, all very domestic. His eyes strayed to her breasts. "You came to do dishes?" "I came to come." She winked, smiling from ear to ear. "Gotta appreciate a straight-talking woman.

I love you more than piranhas love chicken wings.

You're not horribly terrible." He shook his head at her. "You say the nicest things." He held her gaze for a moment. "You're not trying to get into my pants, are you?

Ah, you're warming up to me. You know what comes next." "Bitter disappointment?" she deadpanned.

Where did you grow up?" He wiggled his eyebrows at her. "Who says I've grown up?

But being a substitute parent? Him? It was a tall order for a guy who couldn't even keep a houseplant alive.

I love being a part of Aqua Teen.

I got rid of my teeth at a young age because I'm straight. Teeth are for gay people. That's why fairies come and get them.

Where were they from originally? The Seabolts?" "I don't know, Idaho, Oklahoma, Iowa. One of those red-neck states with vowels on both ends." "You mean like Alaska?

She raised her head again. "Aren't you supposed to come over all manly man and forbid the little lady from taking such risks with her fragile self?" "I like my balls right where they are," he said, and she laughed and put her head back down on his chest. Kate Shugak to Jim Chopin Though Not Dead

The blogosphere rewards no-holds-barred smartassery.

Cleaning my hand print off of a mirror. Don't high-five your reflection. Just nod or wink.