Quotes About Humor

Kit gave the Pig a look. Oh, come on! The Powers... His voice trailed off as the Pig gave him the same look right back. I mean, the One... wouldn't play jokes-- Wouldn't It? said the Transcendent Pig. Been out in the real world lately?

He once reduced the President of the United States—then a ceremonial post, but one much loved by people who lived within the old borders—to tears of laughter at a state dinner, by delivering a learned dissertation on computer data storage technology in a flawless Texan accent. The lady was later heard to propose an amendment to the Constitution to allow off-worlders to hold high public office, so that she could have him for her running mate in the next election. It

And he laughed.

Hangin' upside down ain't good for nobody but possums.

Last time I was down South I walked into this restaurant, and this white waitress came up to me and said: 'We don't serve colored people here.' I said: 'that's all right, I don't eat colored people. Bring me a whole fried chicken.

Last time I was down South, I walked into this restaurant. This white waitress came up to me and said, 'We don't serve colored people here.' I said, 'That's all right, I don't eat colored people. Bring me a whole fried chicken.' About that time, these three cousins came in. You know the ones I mean, Ku, Klux and Klan. They said, 'Boy, we're givin' you fair warnin. Anything you do to that chicken, we're gonna do to you.' So I put down my knife and fork, picked up that chicken, and kissed it.

I could marry the Devil himself if he had some money.

Ik schrijf dit terwijl ik in de gootsteen zit

Mrs. Fox-Cotton said that was no book for little girls, I told him. It's no book for little vicars, he said, chuckling.

Why is it so hard to be serious, so easy to be too serious?

Explain me to myself, you'll make me choke on my lunch. Feel sympathy for me, I'll puke monkey blood on your understated shoes.

Doesn't seem quite real. It's not meaningful. I can't quite imagine myself being 73. That's the age my father was! [Laughter.] How can I be his age? It's weird.

Weede si alzò in piedi per un secondo e piegò leggermente le ginocchia - come faceva sempre mio padre quando le mutande gli si incagliavano in qualche anfratto delle regioni inguinali, spiegando a me bambino che quel gesto era l'unica alternativa civile al disincagliamento manuale, sport preferito di emarginati e pazzi.

This country is toilet-oriented.

What people look for in a dying friend is a stubborn kind of gravel-voiced nobility, a refusal to give in, with moments of indomitable humor.

How often when they find a sage As sweet as Socrates or Plato They hand him hemlock for his wage Or bake him like a sweet potato!-Taking the Longer View

Naked people look funny when they are for-real naked, outside-a-magazine naked.

I don't mean to brag, but I put together a puzzle in 1 day and the box said 2-4 years.

Clowns, hoboes, gypsies, and furry animals of all kinds scattered madly and dived for cover. No doubt they thought I'd finally lost it and was planning to lob more grenades.

That's what I like about you," Michael remarked. "Your finely honed sense of deviousness.

Yes, I'm Delia Maddox," she said, taking his hand in a quick, firm shake. "Grace's sister-in-law and--" "--the ravishing goddess responsible for creating Delia's delectable. The most amazing food in the Americas." Her pretty eyes twinkled at his nickname for her food, but she folded her arms and said, "Only in the Americas? Hmm, I must be slipping.

Brunetti shrugged. They believed him to be a member of the community of scholars...'Community of Scholars, she repeated , It would make the chickens laugh

Brunetti thought of Parliament in the way most Italians thought of their mothers-in-law.

There had been nights in the desert where I was so sick with laughter, convulsed and doubled over with aching stomach for hours on end, I would happily have thrown myself in front of a car to make it stop.