Quotes About Humor

Woman: You certainly know the way to a man's heart. Mae West: Funny, too, 'cause I don't know how to cook.

It's a funny old world. Once you realize that, you're halfway there.

Enough," she said, putting a finger on Guy's lips. He opened his mouth and bit it lightly, then began teasing the end of it with his tongue. "Stop it!" she exclaimed, pulling it out and wiping it on his shirt. "You are the limit, Guy Webber, do you know that?

You're an asshole, you know that?' I asked him. It figured he would pick today to be funny and personable, but I wasn't in the mood. He smiled. 'I know. I work really hard at it.

I read everything, both serious and funny. Dickens, Thackeray, Rider Haggard, PG Wodehouse, Chinua Achebe, and the endless wailing of Virginia Woolf, thin terrible books where nothing happened.

It's like she's pulling Post-it notes out of her hair and lecturing from them, one of my peers once complained about the teaching style of my beloved teacher Mary Ann Caws. ...Ditto Eileen Myles, who tells a great story about a student at UC San Diego once complaining that her lecturing style was like 'throwing a pizza at us.' My feeling is, you should be so lucky to get a pizza in the face from Eileen Myles, or a Post-it note plucked from the nest of Mary Ann Caws's hair.

That was sarcasm. I cannot read tea leaves. I mean, not unless someone lines them up in the shapes of letters.)

I loaded on enough sarcasm to clog up a black hole.

I tend to head for what's amusing because a lot of things aren't happy. But usually you can find a funny side to practically anything.

To laugh at men of sense is the privilege of fools.

If I had no sense of humor, I would long ago have committed suicide.

We see them oiling their weapons to kill the gryphon they think is hiding in our hen coop. And we cannot help laughing.

Me, too! I'll sell my bras and buy two million! One per cup!

We sometimes laugh from ear to ear, but it would be impossible for a smile to be wider than the distance between our eyes.

Laughter is regional: a smile extends over the whole face.

Good taste and humor are a contradiction in terms, like a chaste whore.

A wise man can play the part of a clown, but a clown can't play the part of a wise man.

You wanna know the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer? One is a blood-sucking parasite and the other is an insect.

We can take you back in to hump her leg and let her scratch yer belly if you'd prefer.

As I put together the wolf was Jeffrey, I gasped. "Holy crap. You so can totally lick your own butt!

Oh, wonderful, you're growing on me at an alarming rate. If I get to the point that I agree we're friends, shoot me.

Something of an accomplished acrobat, Burgess managed to not only stay on Austin, but race around his shoulders and then down the back of his shirt. That only served to set Austin off more. He fell onto the grass and did a bizarre version of stop, drop, and roll. Except there was no fire. Just a fox squirrel. Every turn Austin did left the bulge that was better known as Burgess moving around under his shirt, easily avoiding being smushed. "Get it off me!

Honey, you finally have sex again and you'll scare the poor sucker for all the dust balls and cobwebs that will surely fall out.

The English had hit upon a splendid joke. They intended to catch me or to bring me down.