Quotes About Humor

A person whom Mark had small regard for, said: Mark, I recently chanced to pass by your house. To which Mark dryly replied: And may you always continue to do so.

Adam and Eve had many advantages, but the principle one was that they escaped teething.

Cold! If the thermometer had been an inch longer we'd all have frozen to death.

God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board

He would come in and say he changed his mind -- which was a gilded figure of speech, because he didn't have any.

The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.

The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.

There are times when one would like to end the whole human race, and finish the farce.

Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.

What would men be without women? Scarce, sir...mighty scarce.

Wit is the only wallBetween us and the dark.

Nothing in man is more serious than his sense of humor it is the sign that he wants all the truth.

When you say 'I wrote a program that crashed Windows,' people just stare at you blankly and say 'Hey, I got those with the system, for free.'

The good Lord didn't create anything without a purpose, but the fly comes close.

For fifteen cents a day you can feed an African, they eat pennies.

God turned out to be a bunch of bad little kids playing interstellar Xbox. Isn't that funny?

A good thing to have up your sleeve is a sanctified funny-bone.

Our records, if you have a dark sense of humor, were funny, but our records weren't about comedy. They were about protests, fantasy, confrontation and all that.

I have a paper cut from writing my suicide note. It's a start.

Baptists are only funny underwater.

If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.

Accents are funny. It sets me apart from the other girls doing comedy. It gives me more—how do you say?—pop-oo-laaarrrity.

Every time I go near the stove, the dog howls.

I hate sitting in traffic, because I always get run over.