Quotes About Humor

I really don't think I need buns of steel. I'd be happy with buns of cinnamon.

I once asked a young dissertation writer whether her suddenly grayed hair was due to ill health or personal tragedy; she answered: "It was the footnotes".

Laughter is the most healthful exertion.

I get my exercise being a pallbearer for those of my friends who believed in regular running and calisthenics.

I read that heavy drinking is bad for your health. I decided I better stop reading.

My favorite health club is the International House of Pancakes

Red meat is not bad for you. Now blue-green meat, that's bad for you!

How can you eat anything with eyes?

My idea of exercise is a good brisk sit.

Hearty laughter is a good way to jog internally without having to go outdoors.

My health is good; it's my age that's bad.

Cynicism is humor in ill health.

Laughter is a bodily exercise, precious to Health

I really have a secret satisfaction in being considered rather mad.

Today's business and health care climate may not be pleasant. Cutbacks, pay cuts and layoffs do not make anyone's job easy. But that does not mean that the humor need stop.

Wine had such ill effects on Noah's health that it was all he could do to live 950 years. Show me a total abstainer that ever lived that long.

It's never occurred to me to worry about my health, or that I'll get old, or that people will stop laughing at me.

A sense of humor is regarded as a sign of mental health - apart from excessive punning, which is another matter entirely.

A cough so robust that I tapped into two new seams of phlegm.

I burned sixty calories. That should take care of a peanut I had in 1962.

If bumblebee leavings and stump paste are so good for you, why can't any of those guys (in the health stores) grow full beards?

Bill Murray is on the show tonight. Next week I'll be Goggling 'foods that improve prostate health.'

Do you know who will be in charge of health care? The IRS. You thought getting audited was bad? Wait until your next prostate exam.

I've been on a constant diet for the last two decades. I've lost a total of 789 pounds. By all accounts I should be hanging from a charm bracelet.