Quotes About Humor

I was reading a book... 'the history of glue' - I couldn't put it down.

I was alive when the Dead Sea was just a lake that was feeling a little poorly.

I'm a Larry David fan, right? And it seems to me that Jewish history from the Talmud on has been a self-deprecating, self-critical kind of humor.

There is humor in the specter of the worst disaster in our nation's history. All I have to do is sweep away the debris of shock to find it.

I want to write a book which is the history of comedy.

Throughout history, great leaders have known the power of humor.

The Lego Movie: Merely a great film, or the greatest film ever in the history of cinema?

Donald Trump called George W. Bush 'the worst president in the history of the United States.' Then he added, 'Until, of course, I'm elected.'

Fun-run" indeed,what a misnomer. That'd be like saying "calm gremlin" or "pleasant hag." Or 'entertaining history textbook.

If somebody tells you 'History will never forgive you,' just laugh at him! Because when the history comes, you won't be here! The threat of history never forgives you is a useless threat!

Humor is so important to the American scene throughout history.

There's such a rich history in 'SNL' of political humor, and I think audience members expect that from us.

Well, I just said that Jesus and I were both Jewish and that neither of us ever had a job, we never had a home, we never married and we traveled around the countryside irritating people.

Headline?" he asked. "'Swing Set Needs Home,'" I said. "'Desperately Lonely Swing Set Needs Loving Home,'" he said. "'Lonely, Vaguely Pedophilic Swing Set Seeks the Butts of Children,'" I said.

Sometimes, when I'm feeling down because nothing seems to be going right, I like to take a home pregnancy test. Then I can say, 'Hey, at least I'm not pregnant.'

I could dance with you until the cows come home. On second thought I'd rather dance with the cows until you come home.

I'm a big fan of the Mars Bar Diet. You don't eat the Mars bar, you stick it up your arse and let a rottweiler chase you home.

I never worry about being driven to drink; I just worry about being driven home.

My sister married a German. He complained he couldn't get a good bagel back home. I said: 'Well, whose fault is that?'

If you cast really funny, talented people and let them do what they need to do, they're going to hit a home run for you without a script.

Why don't you go home to your wife? Better yet, I'll go home to your wife, and outside of the improvement, she won't notice any difference.

I could lie and say my wife cooks for me, but she doesn't. My wife has never learnt cooking but she has great cooks at home.

You just may be a redneck if your lawn furniture used to be your living room furniture.

I came home, the car was in the dining room. "How did you get the car in here?" "Easy, I took a left at the kitchen."