Quotes About Humor

Mrs Pungent McShark was a horrible soul, Her face resembled a squashed sausage roll, She was bitter and twisted, heartless and cruel, With breath that smelt worse than a septic cesspool.

It only seems like it would be funny to enter a bank wearing a ski mask.

Nothing," she said. "But I've seen better handwriting from animals without opposable thumbs.

If you can find the line between sympathetic and creepy, you have reached a very funny area.

Laughter is the best medicine - unless you're diabetic, then insulin comes pretty high on the list.

Her majesty is one verb short of a sentence.

You'll like it here; everyone is quite mad.

There are people who can make us laugh even when they don't intend to, largely because their very presence pleases us, and so it's easy enough to set us off, simply seeing them and being in their company and hearing them is all it takes, even if they're not saying anything very extraordinary or are even deliberately spouting nonsense, which we nevertheless find funny.

Perhaps it was his wife who mainly made him laugh, for there are people who can make us laugh even when they don't intend to, largely because their very presence pleases us, and so it's easy enough to set us off, simply seeing them and being in their company and hearing them is all it takes, even if they're not saying anything very extraordinary or are even deliberately spouting nonsense, which we nevertheless find funny.

todo puede ser ridículo o trágico según quién lo cuente y cómo se cuente

From there to here, from here to there, funny things are everywhere!

Laughing is just another way of showing people your wise

Pull, my finger please.

We had a joke, Langley and I: Someone dying asks if there is life after death. Yes, comes the answer, only not yours.

I am an unspeakable of the Oscar Wilde sort.

Perfect Tommy: Pictures don't lie. Reno: The hell they don't. I met my first wife that way

Cake and tea or death?

I am a professional transvestite, so I can run about in heels and not fall over. Cause if a woman falls over wearing heels, that's embarrassing. But if a bloke falls over wearing heels, you have to kill yourself. It's the end of your life.

And then earlier than that there were the crusades. The crusades were totally fucked. Richard the Lionheart, who had the heart of a lion as well as his own. He ripped it out of the lion, and the lion was left with a bicycle pump and not much to do.

Could adults actually deal with a weird monster under their bed? I think if the monster started moving around, then- well we'd get out of bed and we'd get a frying pan, and then we'd beat the crap out of the monster under the bed. Or we'd get a broom and poke the monster out. No, we'd lock the door and set fire to the house.

Jesus sandals

Satire is enjoyable compensation for being forced to think.

A satirist is never certain whether he/she will be acclaimed or punished.

Satire is the antidote to Pollyanna and Dr. Pangloss. It focuses our gaze sharply upon the the contrast between things as they are and as they should be.