Quotes About Humor

Emily Post mincing through the graveyard. Etiquette for Young Vampires.

Here we are, kiddies, sitting like a bug in a rug, snugly, surrounded by a battalion of bloodsuckers who wish no more than to sip freely of my bonded, 100 proof hemoglobin. Have a drink, men, this one's really on me.

Mother told her she looked just like the duchess of York, but younger. Lucille returned the compliment by remarking that Mother looked just like Queen Alexandra, but younger. And Dad wondered aloud what was wrong with good American people: "You look right miserable, Dad," I told him. "So do you, Alexander, but younger," he replied.

I don't know any sad songs. Except for the funny ones.

Their eyes smiled at the best joke in creation, while their shoulders bowed under the weight of a thing too heavy to bear.

As the old joke put it: It is forbidden to smoke while you are praying! But it is wonderful and meritorious to pray while you are smoking!

Who but an English professor would threaten to kill a duck a day and hold up a goose as an example?

Mr. Purty has cheered me up. The task he has chosen for himself, of wooing my mother with a bright red pickup truck, a Patsy Cline tape, and a string of malapropisms, is ample justification to me for not taking the world too seriously, its relentless heartbreak notwithstanding… (Richard Russo, Straight Man)

Miles smiled. Can you keep a secret? Bea snorted. Did I tell you what you were in for if you married my daughter? No, Miles conceded. Well, then, she said, as if that settled the matter.

Lincoln chuckled yet again. "What's that poem you're always quoting? About parents?" Teddy nodded. "Larkin.

he always had the last word in all differences of opinion with his wife, and that—two words, actually—was, "Yes, dear.

He wasn't always trying to say witty things, and when he did say them, he felt no need to repeat them for changing company.

Life may be a grand folly, as you say, but it is harder to appriciate the joke when you're always the butt of it.

begin laughing too, though they have no idea why. Which

I don't now how you could not kid about love and still claim to have a sense of humor

Outside of a dog," Teddy said, wiggling his eyebrows and puffing on an imaginary Groucho cigar, a whole other Marx than the one Mickey alluded to, "a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.

Later in life, he was fond of remarking, rather ruefully, that he always had the last word in all differences of opinion with his wife, and that—two words, actually—was, "Yes, dear.

Humour is a poor substitution for accuracy, and a poorer proxy for truth

You want a poke in the eye with a sharp stick?" Sully offered. "You don't have a stick," Will pointed out.

They would be on the brink of a serious falling out when suddenly the danger would pass as if it had never existed—"like a fart in a gale of wind," as Dan liked to say. He had a way of saying the most patently offensive things, plain or profane, without offending. A rare gift, she concluded. The other men in her life somehow always managed to offend even when they were tiptoeing.

And do I perhaps miss the point altogether? Is the guy who wears Tommy on his back participating in a clever, knowing, postmodern joke, whose unspoken text is that we all secretly care about labels, so why not acknowledge that in big campy letters? It may be. But I don't think so.

William: You'd look better with your hair chopped off. Reggie: You'd look better with your face chopped off.

Butler: Do you think I look deaf? William: Whadda I know. You look like you could be anything.

She's out of my league, but if she has herpes... That puts us in the same league! The herpes league!