Quotes About Humor

I try not to think. It interferes with being nuts -Leo Valdez

Jason scratched his head. You named him Festus? You know that in Latin, 'festus' means 'happy'? You want us to ride off to save the world on Happy the Dragon?

Braccas meas vescimini ! I wasn't sure where the Latin came from. I think it meant 'Eat my pants!

Can we just call them storm spirits?" Leo asked. "Venti makes them sound like evil espresso drinks.

I have lightning and wind powers, Jason reminded him. Piper can turn beautiful and charm people into giving her BMWs. You're no more a freak than we are. And, hey, maybe you can fly, too. Like jump off a building and yell 'Flame on!' Leo snorted. If I did that, you would see a flaming kid falling to his death, and I would be yelling something a little stronger than 'Flame on!

Gaea?" Leo shook his head. "Isn't that Mother Nature? She's supposed to have, like, flowers in her hair and birds singing around her and dear and rabbits doing her laundry." "Leo, that's Snow White," Piper said.

She said this in the same way you might say Fields of Punishment or Hades's gym shorts.

Grover didn't say anything for awhile. Then, when I thought he was going to give me some deep philosophical comment to make me feel better, he said, Can I have your apple?

I could have killed you." "Or I could have killed you," Percy said. Jason shrugged. "If there'd been an ocean in Kansas, maybe." "I don't need an ocean—" "Boys," Annabeth interrupted, "I'm sure you both would've been wonderful at killing each other. But right now, you need some rest." Food first," Percy said. "Please?

I'd love to tell you I had some deep revelation on my way down, that I came to terms with my own mortality, laughed in the face of death, et cetera. The truth? My only thought was: Aaaaggghhhhh!

I told Tantalus to go chase a doughnut.

Nothing like watching your relatives fight, I always say.

Jeez, Hazel, Percy said, tell your horse to watch his language. Hazel tried not to laugh. What did he say? With the cussing removed? He said he can get us to the top. Frank looked incredulous. I thought the horse couldn't fly! This time Arion whinnied so angrily, even Hazel could guess he was cursing. Dude, Percy told the horse, I've gotten suspended for saying less than that...

I'm Dylan. I'm so cool. I want to date myself, but I don't know how! You want to date me instead? You're so lucky!

You're Dionysus, I said. The god of wine. Mr. D rolled his eyes. What do they say these days, Grover? Do the children say 'Well duh!'? Y-yes, Mr. D. Then, well, duh! Percy Jackson. Did you think I was Aphrodite, perhaps? You're a god. Yes, child. A god. You.

She glanced at the minotaur horn in my hands, then back at me. I imagined she was going to say, You killed a minotaur! or Wow, you're so awesome! or something like that. Instead she said, You drool when you sleep.

Whenever Percy stopped by to see [Annabeth], she was so lost in thought that the conversation went something like this: Percy: 'Hey, how's it going?' Annabeth: 'Uh, no thanks.' Percy: 'Okay...have you eaten anything today?' Annabeth: 'I think Leo is on duty. Ask him.' Percy: 'So, my hair is on fire.' Annabeth: 'Okay, in a while.

Delaying death is one of my favorite hobbies

I'm the Super-sized McShizzle, man! Leo said. I'm Leo Valdez, bad boy supreme. And the ladies love a bad boy.

You're a stalker with hooves. I am not! I followed her to the Big House and hid in a bush and watched the whole thing.

Annabeth: Hey, Seaweed Brain. Percy: Will you stop calling me that? Annabeth: You know you love it.

Keep climbing,' he told himself. 'Cheeseburgers,' his stomach replied. 'Shut up,' he thought. 'With fries,' his stomach complained.

Hazel squinted. How far? Just over the river and through the woods. Percy raised an eyebrow. Seriously? To Grandmother's house we go? Frank cleared his throat. Yeah, anyway.

You speak horse? Hazel asked. Speaking to horses is a Poseidon thing, Percy said. Uh, I mean a Neptune thing. Then you and Arion should get along fine, Hazel said. He's a son of Neptune too. Percy turned pale. Excuse me?