Quotes About Humor

Damn it all to Disneyland! Where's crap for brains?

Tinks titties Rache Jenks

Good God, the man is dumber than Tink's dildo...

She smiled with the warmth of a penguin.

I feel like run-over crap, I complained. You look like run-over crap, Jenks said. Drink your tea.

Come on, Jenks," he said, moving him into the hallway. "I've got some clothes you can put on. Falling down is a lot more comfortable when you have something between your ass and the carpet.

But I knew Nick. He was too ugly to die.

Inside Junior's it was peaceful. I can change that, I thought dryly

Married pixy, I told myself, forcing my eyes back to the shelf of ceramic animals. Fifty-four kids. Beautiful wife, sweet as sugar, who would kill me in my sleep while apologizing for it.

Tink's little pink dildo, Rache! Haven't you gotten rid of those condoms yet? They got a shelf life, you know.

From my ear Jenks snickered. "Awwww, you two are so sweet, I could fart fairy balls.

Can we get back to how we're going to kill Nick? And what's this about a dead body? You'd better start talking quick, Ivy, 'cause I'm not going to play hide-and-seek with a dead guy in my trunk. I did that in college, and I'm not going to do it again." A smile quirked Ivy's mouth. "Really?" she asked, and I flushed.

Have you been sniffing fairy farts?

Okay, I like him," I admitted. "But it takes more than a nice body, Jenks. Jeez, I do have a little depth. You've got a great body, and you don't see me trying to get into your Fruit of the Looms.

I'm telling you, Ivy, this is the best thing to happen to her since that boy band she liked got run over by a pack of migrating deer. Look how relaxed she is. Better than a spa day.

In a smooth, unhurried motion, Jenks reached out and slapped him. "Seems to me you should pull the brains out of your ass.

Ivy and I will deal with the uncomfortable situation like we always have…by ignoring it. It was something we were both good at.

You aren't kidding. But you know, it's likely going to be the only time I'll ever be that skinny and have a fur coat.

Confused, I asked, The coven's what? Plumber, Ivy said, looking pale as she leaned on Glenn. You know. Stops leaks? Oh goodie. I'm a leak.

Tighter than a straight man's butt cheeks in prison

She's a wolf. Get it right, crap for brains. Tink's knickers, you have got to be the stupidest lunker I've ever lit on.

Oh, God, I'm going to be a hundred and sixty with a flower on my ass.

Tink's pink dildo, all that money and he can kiss, too

Jenks watched for a moment from the rim of the bucket, then said, You look like a porno star on your hands and knees, mopping in your underwear. Push it baby he moaned. Push it!