Quotes About Humor

You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly, but I bet you ain't never seen a donkey fly! Ha, ha!

Life... is like a grapefruit. It's orange and squishy, and has a few pips in it, and some folks have half a one for breakfast.

Life is like a moustache. It can be wonderful or terrible. But it always tickles.

When Dradin stopped running he found himself on the fringe of the religious quarter, next to an emaciated macadamia salesman who cracked jokes like nuts.

Katerina, do you ever watch a comedy show on TV? At the end of one of those 30-minute shows, the credits roll. About 75 people have worked on that show, and only sometimes the shows are funny. I am one man alone. Given the odds, you are lucky if you get a single chuckle out of me. You're lucky if I even make you smile.

Take my last wife. We get on like a house on fire. Last week she took me out to a splendid dinner, she buys me presents, calls me 'old bean' and even phones the Coach and Horses to see whether I've snuffed it or not. But final and damning proof of the failure of our divorce is that she still laughs at my jokes. I wouldn't swap her for a wife.

Use the Force! But use the bathroom first if you need to.

Have I come at a bad time?" she managed to say without guffawing. I believe I said something on the order of "argh," and compounded my embarrassment by trying to cover myself with the sweatpants I'd picked up off the floor.

La situación actual se parece un poco al chiste que hacían los trabajadores de la antigua Unión Soviética: «¡Nosotros hacemos como que trabajamos y usted hace como que nos paga!»

When you employ HUMOR, you create a friendly, relaxed buying atmosphere.

Humor can give you the edge you are looking for.

A close family member once offered his opinion that I exhibit the phone manners of a goat, then promptly withdrew the charge - out of fairness to goats.

a prank a day keeps the dog leash away.

I think Damien Hirst is hilarious. And I think he's a true artist. He's not hilarious first I think he is a real artist, and I also think he's got an amazing sense of humor.

I want someone who builds people up, not tears them down. I need someone who makes me laugh and isn't afraid to rib me when I'm being a royal jerk.' She smiled a little. 'You're that girl. I want to be with you, and I want everyone to know it.

I thought cobblers just ate shoe leather" Jocelyn says as she and her shadow dance by us. I've had enough of this one. "I never have, but if you want to try leather, I'm happy to shove some down your throat.

Hey, do me a favor and grab my butt," Olaf´s head said to Hans.

Jax appears at my side. "Yeah, we wouldn't want her bursting into flames," he whispers, and we both giggle quietly.

appears at my side. "Yeah, we wouldn't want her bursting into flames," he whispers, and we both giggle quietly.

Thank you, Obvious Warning Labels. Without you I might have stuck my kid in a washing machine, lit a match near an open gas line, used my hair dryer while sleeping, or, God forbid, not realized eggs may contain—wait for it—eggs. I have no idea how I ever function without you. (I almost ingested the contents of a lava lamp just yesterday, but your label made another quick save. God bless.)

Thank you, Department Stores, for the flickering fluorescent lights, dingy yellow wall paint, and adjustable mirrors in the dressing room where I try on bathing suits. You are why I drink.

Something weird happens to your brain. This brain has served you well for so long, but it starts punking you. You can't remember directions, you forget why you walked into a room, and for the life of you, you can't recall your third kid's name (

I turned forty this year. Forty! Which is so weird because I've always been young. I've been young my whole life, as a matter of fact. No matter how I dissect this, I've aged out of the "young" category and graduated to the "middle" group. My brain feels confused about this because I am so juvenile. I make up my own words to hip-hop songs and quote Paul Rudd as a parenting strategy. Surely I am a preteen.

Thank you, Facebook Quizzes, for helping me identify my Disney princess spirit, my old-person name, my mental disorder, and the color of my soul. All in one evening. Best, Ariel Harriet Schizophrenic Mauve.