Quotes About Humor

Oh, we know Damocles from way back," Onosa said, waving her hand. "You do?" "Yes, indeed, Valkyrie. We're old friends. Practically. Almost. We tried to kill him once, but I'm sure he's forgotten about that. It was ages ago." "Why did you try to kill him?" Skulduggery asked. "Because we knew him." "A good enough reason as any.

Definitely looks like it," said Amber. "Thank you so much for your help." "Don't worry about it," the kid replied. "I'm assuming you'll take care of this?" He held up his bag of doughnuts so the teller could see it, and Amber smiled. "Sure thing, Walter. See you around." "Stay frosty," Walter said, and walked out.

Who's got two thumbs and is going to save the world?" she asked, then jerked both of her thumbs towards her smiling face. "This chick.

very good book! you're gonna have to read this amazing book. the main characters are Valkyrie Cain and the bony Skulduggery Pleasant and they have a good sense of humour. I think that Derek had done a good job at expressing the character's feelings and facial expressions. I love it how in every book there is a bad person and always tries to take over the world and Valkyrie tries to stop them. Keep going Derek Landy! Write more books please!!!

Oh my God," Valkyrie said numbly. "We just beat up a pensioner." "Evil pensioner," Tanith corrected, coughing slightly as she dragged

Actually, if there's one thing that goblins love," Skulduggery had said, "it's eating babies, but gold comes in a close second.

Do your best not to die, sweetie," he said quietly. "She's the only one who knows how to work the dishwasher.

So what does that actually mean?" "To be honest, Ghastly, I haven't a bull's notion." "Elder Bespoke should be addressed by his title," Tipstaff said. "Of course," Skulduggery said. "To be honest, Your Highness, I haven't a bull's notion.

As she fell, she was reminded of that line from one of Douglas Adams' books, where he described flying as the ability to throw yourself at the ground and miss. Valkyrie rushed towards the ground, and missed splendidly.

Ask us," Skulduggery said. "Pardon?" "I just like being asked to … you know." China sighed. "Skulduggery Pleasant, Valkyrie Cain, will you accept this mission and save the world, pretty please, with a cherry on top?" Skulduggery put his hands on his hips. "I shall." "Yeah," Valkyrie muttered. "I shall, too.

If you don't see me in five minutes, then I've probably died a brave and heroic death.

So when the time comes, when you have served your purpose, I swear to you I'm gonna kill you for free." And with that, Billy-Ray Sanguine disappeared into the ground. Then he popped his head back up. "Or at least half price." And he was gone again.

I've had years to see the funny side.

He came in as soon as we opened, asked for a growling panther on his shoulder blade. He fainted the moment I started." "A growling panther?" "Yep." "Then why are you giving him a tattoo of a kitten?" Finbar shrugged. "I'm just in a kitten kind of mood, y'know?

Crux sneered. "That's an awfully big word for a thirteen-year-old." Valkyrie resisted the urge to hit him. "Actually, it's not," she replied. "It's fairly standard. Also, I'm fourteen. Also, your beard's stupid." "Isn't this fun?" Skulduggery said brightly. "The three of us getting along so well.

It wasn't all bad," Skulduggery responded. "It gave me time to catch up on some screaming.

Of course not. It's only funny when it happens to other people. I'd have thought that was obvious.

I trust you with my life," Skulduggery said. "Just not necessarily my car.

I was on a date, and this girl teased a banana in a suggestive manner, and said, "That could be you." I replied, "Well then, I should probably get that dark soft-spot looked at."

I'd rather cut off my own balls with blunt bacon scissors than host a dinner party.

There are three things I noticed about being thirty-three: Failing memory, hair loss and failing memory.

Now you know that your headmistress, Miss Davis, was going to come in here and just check that you were all going to be well behaved. She cant do that because, as many of you probably know, she cant be here today, er, because her pants fell down earlier on. Its not funny. If any of you see her, dont make a fuss because its a bit embarrassing for her, OK? Alright? Its not funny.

I like my parrot, Figaro. Not in a wrong way I mean, yes, hell do anything for a mouth full of seed but nothing tacky.

The average human has one breast and one testicle.