Quotes About Humor

A funny person is funny only for so long, but a wit can sit down and go on being spellbinding forever. One is not meant to laugh. One stays quiet and marvels. Spontaneously witty talk is without question the most fascinating entertainment there is.

I hope your bacon burns.

Really, these wizards! You'd think no one had ever had a cold before! Well, what is it?" she asked, hobbling through the bedroom door onto the filthy carpet. "I'm dying of boredom," Howl said pathetically. "Or maybe just dying.

Typical! I break my neck trying to get here, and I find you peacefully tidying up!

It is quite a risk to spank a wizard for getting hysterical about his hair.

I assure you, my friends, I am cone sold stober.

I got through my teen years by being a bit of a clown.

If women were in charge, all men's underwear would come with an expiration date.

Laughter is the jam on the toast of life. It adds flavor, keeps it from being too dry, and makes it easier to swallow.

The Novelist, afraid his ideas may be foolish, slyly puts them in the mouth of some other fool and reserves the right to disavow them.

I couldn't tell a joke if my life depended on it.

Babies laugh three thousand times a day. Adults twenty, if we're lucky.

Babbage never foresaw the terrible consequences of his invention, a machine that would autocorrect his name to cabbage, every single time.

In a deep sexy voice, she said Windows don't turn me on. I raised an eyebrow at her, Mac user?

He took great pleasure in teasing her; he'd decided that Bee was no name for a person, and that it must just be the first letter of her real name. So every time he came in, he addressed her by a new and awful name that started with B.

There's so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy in the streets?

Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?

Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law

Last time I was down South, I walked into this restaurant. This White waitress came up to me and said, "We don't serve colored people here." I said, "That's all right, I don't eat colored people, no way! Bring me a whole fried chicken."

I belong to Bridegrooms Anonymous. Whenever I feel like getting married, they send over a lady in a housecoat and hair curlers to burn my toast for me.

Bob Hope, like Mark Twain, had a sense of humor that was uniquely American, and like Twain, we'll likely not see another like him.

Absolute seriousness is never without a dash of humor.

If you look at a map, you will see that the country of Italy is shaped like a boot, and that the island of Sicily appears to be something that Italy is kicking. What do you think Sicily has done to annoy Italy?

Man is the most intelligent of the animals - and the most silly.