Quotes About Humor

My father used to say that even in comedies, you should have a little 'carry-home message.' Don't make it an experience where you forget play as you walk out.

I've often said the most difficult things I have to say to people through humour. I can very quickly put someone in their place with it. But we all walk away unscathed because there's been some funnies around it, and I'll usually make sure that it comes back at me.

A landlord is showing a couple around an apartment. The husband looks up and says, 'Wait a minute. This apartment doesn't have a ceiling.' The landlord answers, 'That's OK. The people upstairs don't walk around that much.'

Often, contrasts bring art to life: the bright speck of paint on a dark canvas; the tightrope walk between humor and tragedy.

There is a lot men don't know about women. And I'm not just talking about how you manage to leave the bathroom smelling like a tropical rainforest after you shower or how you're able to walk in shoes that rely on nothing more than the support of two five-inch toothpicks.

I went a nutritionist... I walk into his office he goes, 'Well, the good news is, you can have all the salad you want.' I don't want any salad! He wanted me to eat salad. As a food!

It's become normal for me to walk on set as Popeye, Frankenstein or an Elf or even a chicken.

The only way physical comedy works is if you don't see it coming. And the harder the fall, the funnier it is. You have to really take some shots, and I've walked away with some bumps and bruises.

He's so ugly. When you walked by him, your pants wrinkle. He made fly balls curve foul.

Sylvester walked up to me and was like, 'Mind if we get a photo?' obviously because I was in all this crazy makeup. I was like, 'No, Sylvester Stallone, I don't mind if we get a photo.'

For me, comedy is constantly presented as this fake casualness, like a guy just walked on stage going, 'This crazy thing happened to me the other day.' And he's in front of 3000 people, and he's acting like an everyman, and he's getting paid so much money.

St. Michaels Mount is a favourite place of mine; people will walk across to the Mount all day and assume they will be able to walk home. The spectacle of hundreds of people realising that the path they walked over on is disappearing under several feet of water is very amusing.

I had no money to buy clothes, and people would run away when I walked down the street. It was a right laugh.

When Joan Rivers walked through the curtain on 'The Tonight Show,' nobody in my house was allowed to utter a sound. Her gait was full of pep and purpose and her voice unmatched.

If I walked into a restaurant, the other diners would look around and say, 'I hope you're not cooking.'

I like that part of the culture of 'MST3K' is this constant dialog on what movies could be done and what movies should be done. I've seen plenty of bad movies and walked out afterward thinking 'That would have been perfect for 'MST3K.''

I'll never forget one morning I walked in and I had a hell of a bruise - it had been a difficult night the night before - and a client said to me, 'Good God, Vidal, what happened to your face?' And I said, 'Oh, nothing, madam, I just fell over a hairpin.'

Broke my femur on a cruise with my wife in Italy. I'd walked back to my cabin after dinner with half a plate of spaghetti when I leaned in to open the door. Turns out it was already open, so I fell flat on my face like something from the Keystone Kops.

People walked out on Richard Pryor and he's the funniest man alive.

'The Hangover' was, like, solid. I laughed a bit, you know. Seven out of 10, maybe. But I made it 32 minutes into 'Hangover 2' before I walked out.

The Democratic party, respective to health care, is like a person who was sent into the store to purchase a gallon of milk and some butter for the evening's meal and instead walked out with a 'Gladiator' DVD, a can of Easy Cheese, and some Homer Simpson house slippers because how funny are they?

The English have a special sense of humour. This I immediately experienced in the dressing room. As I walked with two plates while eating, suddenly a team-mate asked me, 'Basti, what time is it?' hoping I would automatically turn my hand to look at my watch. That's quite entertaining.

One of the first roles I every played, I was Grandpa Vanderhoff in 'You Can't Take It With You.' Walked with a cane, white stuff in my hair. It must have been horrible. Thank God there's no videotape of it.

I fell down in Hyde Park with a friend who'd had a hip operation, and neither of us could get up again. People must have thought we were a couple of drunks rolling around and walked on by.