Quotes About Humor

Why don't you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini?

As far as characters are concerned, Alan Partridge makes me wet myself. I'm currently reading the book and have started talking like him as an unfortunate consequence.

At a time when every series we're supposed to be DVR-ing is very important, very serious, has to do with heavy, heavy matters, I think 'Wet Hot' provides a respite to that DVR homework. It's totally the gummy bears of your programming.

If I had my way, all actors over 55 would be issued a 3-lb. wet salmon with which to slap the face of every young, beautiful, successful upstart.

Maori get pigeonholed into the idea they're spiritual and telling stories like 'Whale Rider' and 'Once Were Warriors,' quite serious stuff, but we're pretty funny people, and we never really have had an opportunity to show that side of ourselves, the clumsy, nerdy side of ourselves, which is something I am.

My wife says I'm making a noise like a stranded whale. I think I have a major snoring problem.

I love 'Sky Whale!' I play it in bed, I play it in church, I even play it on the toilet!

Many people cycle or swim to keep trim. But if swimming is so good for the figure, how do you explain whales?

If there's an audience, I think they're going to expect me to be funny. But what if I'm not funny? What if I fail?

I'd say any good set or any comedy that I've worked on, that's worked, has been comedians pitching ideas back and forth to each other. A lot of like, 'What if you say this? What about this?'

If Joy Behar or Sherri Shepherd was a dude, they'd be off TV. They're not funny enough for dudes. What if Roseanne Barr was a dude? Think we'd know who she was?

My husband was just OK looking. I was in labor and I said to him, 'What if she's ugly? You're ugly.'

I knew I could make people laugh but I was frightened of doing it. I thought, 'What if I'm crap, what if I'm no good at it?', but I knew I should have a go and shouldn't sit inside watching other people do it on television.

And write what you love - don't feel pressured to write serious prose if what you like is to be funny.

Be fun! I don't like homes or rooms that don't have a sense of humor or have some sense of whimsy or a personality. Your home should reflect who you are, and what you love. I would never have something in my home because it's the thing to have. I have to love it and it needs some connection to me.

And you can be in real danger of judging people based on their reactions to what you love. If I recommend 'Modern Family' to someone and they return saying it wasn't for them, I finish their sentence with 'cos I hate brilliantly written and hilarious sitcoms.'

Whatever tears one may shed, in the end one always blows one's nose.

Whatever else an American believes or disbelieves about himself, he is absolutely sure he has a sense of humor.

Did St. Francis preach to the birds? Whatever for? If he really liked birds he would have done better to preach to the cats.

I have a file of four million jokes... I have them cross-indexed. Whatever subject you want, I have a joke on it.

I like to always have humour in whatever I do.

Maybe that's the whole teen oeuvre, you know covering people in disgusting bodily fluids and whatnot.

No-one wants to hear a crude joke at the expense of the Principal, or the Bridegroom, or the head of the company. Well, they do, but wait 'til you're offstage then WhatsApp it to everyone instead.

Naming me 'Twinkle' was a foolproof way of making sure that I would get teased throughout my life, have immigration officers at various airports stare at my passport and shake with hysterical laughter, and strangers stalk me with WhatsApp messages like, 'Twinkle, Twinkle, little star, I hope you get hit by a car!'