Quotes About Humor

Arthur Dent: What happens if I press this button? Ford Prefect: I wouldn't- Arthur Dent: Oh. Ford Prefect: What happened? Arthur Dent: A sign lit up, saying 'Please do not press this button again.

And wow! Hey! What's this thing coming towards me very fast? Very very fast. So big and flat and round, it needs a big wide sounding word like... ow... ound... round... ground! That's it! That's a good name — ground! I wonder if it will be friends with me?

I wrote an ad for Apple Computer: "Macintosh - We might not get everything right, but at least we knew the century was going to end."

Lord, lord, lord. Protect me from the consequences of the above prayer.

Ah, this is obviously some strange usage of the word 'safe' that I wasn't previously aware of.

Life... is like a grapefruit. It's orange and squishy, and has a few pips in it, and some folks have half a one for breakfast.

I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.

Would it save you a lot of time if I just gave up and went mad now?

The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't.

Ford... you're turning into a penguin. Stop it.

In the end, I think the relationships that survive in this world are the ones where two people can finish each other's sentences. Forget drama and torrid sex and the clash of opposites. Give me banter any day of the week.

Please stop putting quotes from Nietzsche at the end of your emails. Five years ago you were laughing your guts out over American Pie 2. What — suddenly you've magically turned into Noam Chomsky?

But I begin to wonder if he also doesn't have a demented sense of humor, and thinks it's fun to throw wild shit our way.

Time flies like an arrow . . . but fruit flies like a banana." —Unknown (often attributed to Groucho Marx)

Good to know. Because proposing while we're both naked is pretty pathetic. Bad form.

exactly the way he hoped to die, which he decided should involve the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders and his heart giving out from exhaustion.

He half expected to receive a rocket-propelled suppository at any moment, but none came.

Time flies like an arrow . . . but fruit flies like a banana.

And most important to her, he possessed a great sense of humor,

Great," I said, rolling my eyes. "We'll get the chance to know what it feels like to be an ear of corn as a thick cloud of locusts approach.

Bulging biceps?" she repeated with a broad grin. "Wow. Your imagination is even more potent than I thought.

We had been trying for a hint of amusement, but were failing miserably. Apparently, dread wasn't an easy emotion to displace

There was a great joke in there somewhere. A Jewish girl, an ex-priest, and a Muslim god go into a bar . . . .

rocket-propelled suppository