Quotes About Humor

Sometimes people come to my standup show, and they think they're going to see Doug Wilson. Or they see me on the street, and they call me Doug Wilson.

Any man who can hitch the length and breadth of the galaxy, rough it, slum it, struggle against terrible odds, win through, and still knows where his towel is is clearly a man to be reckoned with.

I had ordered long legs, but they never arrived. My eyes are weird too, one is gray and the other is green. I have a crooked smile and my nose looks like a ski slope. No, I would not win a Miss contest.

Being married means I can break wind and eat ice cream in bed.

If you really want to wind up Piers Morgan, send him a pic of Jeremy Clarkson.

My favorite thing to do is to wind those guys up by hitting on their girlfriends. I say, 'I think your girlfriend's gorgeous, but it's all right, I'm gay.' They get very nervous after a few minutes!

I love 'A Mighty Wind.' Even though it's not a funny movie, I think that's kind of beautiful and sweet.

In comedy, you have to be unafraid to hang from the tree branch naked in the high wind and you have to be absolutely unafraid to look ridiculous and silly.

My first course came and I put down my book, and I just happened to put up my hand to scratch my head and discovered that my toupee had been blown by the wind and was folded over backwards on the top of my head!

When I started out, it was around the whole 9/11 - Islamophobia was just sort of hitting a second wind. Obviously that informed a lot of my humor, and it influenced a lot of what I was talking about on stage because it was extremely relevant at the time.

To me, Ann Romney sounds like a better candidate than her husband. She put her MS into remission through horseback riding, alternative therapies, and a healthy diet. She knows how to pace herself. She has a sense of humor and an innate honesty, and her hair moves in the wind. Maybe she should run.

My whole family is obsessed by brandy butter. And bread sauce. Then, of course, there will be a lot of wind in the afternoon! We have never disguised the wind side of our lives as a family; we think it's hilarious.

I don't know how to be sexy on a date. Put up a camera and a wind machine, and I'll give you sexy. Put me at a dinner table with some candlelight and the moon shining in and, oh, I will give you dork.

When I wind someone up, it's never to make them feel angry or aggressive; that doesn't make good telly. It's about uncovering a layer of themselves that is kind of sweet and nice.

When I'm at home creating music, I usually wind up laughing. It's always, like, funny - like, what the hell did I just write?

I used to draw cartoons of my teachers which used to get passed around the class and I'd always wind up getting caught which often meant detention. But they sometimes said the drawings were good!

We were doing a gig in Spain and yet again had four hotel rooms that never get used. We always share a bed. So we're all in bed together and we've all got wind. And we thought it would be funny to put it on Instagram. Farting on cue.

I love winding up Geoffrey Boycott.

Wijnaldum always tries to do some jokes inside the dressing room. He's always winding people up. He always tries to speak in Portuguese or Spanish with us and dancing.

I play the harmonica. The only way I can play is if I get my car going really fast, and stick it out the window.

All preconceptions when you laugh go out the window. Laughter kills it.

A humorous quotation is a little window on the world that gives life a comic twist.

If I'm ever stuck on the M25 - the 'Road to Hell' - I'll wind the window down and start singing, 'I'm driving home for Christmas' at people in cars alongside. They love it. It's like giving them a present.

Writing books is fun because after I do a show for a couple hours, I'm in a bus for 22 hours. It's not hard for me to look out the window and tell a joke here and there.