Quotes About Humor

I don't live with people, that's why my relationships last. I'm not romantic. Even when I was a teenager if somebody asked if they could hold my hand I'd say, - no, it's not heavy, I can hold it myself, thank you'.

Thank you... adjustable baseball caps with no logo on the front and mesh netting in the back, for being a great way to say, 'Hi, I'm over 80 years old.'

People come up to me and say, 'Can I just thank you for writing my life?' And I reply, 'I'm glad someone else is as idiotic as I am.'

It's awfully nice when people thank you for the pleasure and laughter you've brought to their lives.

I think I'm a mousepad. I don't want to be a mousepad, but I'm a mousepad. I'm also a screen saver, thank you very much. It's weird.

Rob Lowe said something negative about me. I'm like, 'What? Thank you! I didn't even know that you knew who I was; now you do.' I appreciate it. You're still hot, so what do I care?

What people like to comment on a lot is that I grew up in a religious family; my father is a pastor, and now I'm playing the devil. Thankfully, my family see the humorous side of the job.

I think the challenge is going out in front of a paying audience with absolutely nothing and trying to entertain them for two hours. Thankfully, I only think about that right before we go on, and then once we're out there, everything's fine.

Thankfully, I don't have a real mullet.

I refused David Letterman's proposal of marriage for obvious reasons, but thanks for asking.

It's not good for comedy to be like, 'Thanks for liking me.' Being popular is poison.

If there is a better singer in England than Craig David, then I am Margaret Thatcher.

The minute I started doing comedy, the doors opened.

The first thing I ever got my hands on was Andy Griffith's 'What It Was, Was Football.' I was fascinated with the fact that every syllable made it funny, and I would laugh even though I didn't know what any of it meant.

The first thing I'll do if elected is demand a recount.

House of Fools,' that was the first thing I was sad that we couldn't do any more.

When I started stand-up, the first thing I did was to take an improv class.

Everywhere I go in America, when they learn I'm from France, the first thing they ask me is if I'm a huge Jerry Lewis fan. I've never been able to figure that out.

The first thing you start with when you're trying to write something funny is it has to - it really has to come to you first. I has to be an idea that you have that first makes you laugh, that strikes you as funny.

The hardest thing in the world to depict dramatically is stand-up.

The hardest thing for me is not to keep laughing. Jennifer particularly is like a clown.

I enjoy comedic things. People don't understand it's the hardest thing to do. We have a ratio of 25-to-1 between good dramatic actors and people who are considered good comic actors.

It's funny, the hardest thing to do is to make something look like it's fast, loose and improvised, and get somebody to laugh.

No, writing musicals is the hardest thing in the world. And it was really funny, because I remember when the South Park movie came out, there were some critics that said, 'Well it's obvious that in order to get it to be 90 minutes they filled some time with music.'