Quotes About Humor

Damn, boy. Look at you. You're almost as old as me." "Hardly." Ricky laughed. "Look at you. You're getting gray, what's this?" "Melinda, naturally. She's working me over. You should be careful, Rick. Strong, sexy women? They'll kill you slow." "What a way to go, huh?" "Yeah,

It was less than thirty minutes before her cell phone chimed. She glanced at the phone and saw it was Luke. She let him go to voice mail. Next was Sean, then Patrick and finally Colin. She smiled to herself; it was nice having all five boys in the United States. She let them all leave messages. She would entertain herself later by listening to them. Really, she thought with amusement, how did they think she got to be this old without knowing anything? Pups. They were just pups. *

Cocktail weenies?" he asked, holding up a little can. "Who gives cocktail weenies to a needy family?" "I mighta done that," said Hope McCrea, pushing her big black glasses up on her nose. "The can is bulging," Jack said. "Been a while since I had a yen for cocktail weenies," Hope replied, unrepentant. Jack pitched the can in the trash. "Sorry, Hope. Can't take a chance on killing anyone our first try at this.

In the morning when she woke, the coffeepot was on the woodstove, which had burned low as usual. There was a note on the table. Don't light the Coleman stove unless you're sure you know how. And it made her laugh. *

There was a loud burst of laughter somewhere in the campground and Maggie looked around. A man wearing a backpack but no clothes was coming down the trail. He had excellent hiking boots on his feet, a straw hat on his head and that was all. His thing was swaying in the breeze.

So—you make that baby today?" someone yelled at Preacher. "I believe I did," he said, sticking his chest out. Paige brought a big platter of wings out to the bar and said, "John, shut up." "Well, I believe I did. Don't you?" She looked up at him, shook her head in disgust and said, "You certainly did your best," and turned to walk back into the kitchen. Mike

She threatened him with dire consequences if he got all puffed up and studly about this. It was easy for him to take it in stride—exactly how many eight-pound babies had he pushed out? And if he joked about this even once, she was going to make him pay. Perhaps for life. Jack

Jack had some premonitions. His patience was going to be severely tested for the next several months. He was not going to be having much sex. John Stone, her OB, was going to think this was hilarious. He might have to kill John. "Well,

When he looked up at her again, it was difficult not to notice that chest. He couldn't escape the feeling those boobs were going to poke his eyes out.

Goddamn it," he muttered. She smiled at him. "Nice language for someone on his way to church." *

In our family, we don't hide crazy...we put it on the porch and give it a cocktail.

When God made the firs Raika, that man turned to God and said, "You're something else. You've given me two eyes, two ears, two feet, two hands but only one stomach. It isn't fair. Why did you do it?" God laughed at him and answered, "You foolish Raika, don't you realize how much trouble you're going to have filling one?

The newly developed snarky side of my personality wanted to tell him 'There's no crying in vamp battles.

I don't know which is worse," Cassidy mused, "when people laugh at things that aren't funny, or when they don't laugh at things that are.

How many beers do y'all think it takes before one internationally scientist turns to another and says, 'Dude, bet you twenty bucks I can levitate a frog with a magnet?' ' Sam drawled.

The way I figured it, keeping quiet was safe. Words could betray you if you chose the wrong ones, or mean less if you used too many. Jokes could be grandly miscalculated, or stories deemed boring, and I'd learned early on that my sense of humor and ideas about what sorts of things were fascinating didn't exactly overlap with my friends'.

Oh come on ,'Pheobe continued. 'You're asking for it. Pale skin, black clothes, no lunch and that whole brooding thing? It's hilarious. You should get body glitter and go after an unsuspecting freshman.' 'You should!' Cassidy agreed. 'Tell her you're a dangerous monster. And mention how good her blood smells.' 'Wrong time of the month on that one, and I'm getting slapped,' I muttered, and everyone laughed.

You're funny.' Phoebe passed me the last chocolate cupcake. 'And I always thought your friends were laughing over their own farts.' 'Ninety percent of Eastwood's male population laughs over their own farts. Present company excluded, naturally.

Sharpen that wit of yours anymore and someone might think you actually have a point.

Made you a Picasso this morning." Nick smirked, presenting the nutritionist with his tray, upon which he'd arranged his tofu sausage, eggs, and English muffin into the unmistakable shape of a penis.

You in for Chipotle tomorrow? Taco Tuesday, gotta get some tac and guac!" "No one calls it that." I shook my head, grinning. It

Dude, I thought you were gonna stay on your side!" he complained. "That's so sweet," I called. "Who was the big spoon?" "Shut up, Faulkner," Austin grumbled.

Definitely. I've got posters of girls in bikinis, too. And like, a whole bedside drawer of lube." "I would be disappointed if you didn't." Cassidy laughed.

Words could betray you if you chose the wrong ones, or mean less if you used too many. Jokes could be grandly miscalculated, or stories deemed boring, and I'd learned early on that my sense of humor and ideas about what sorts of things were fascinating didn't exactly overlap with my friends.