Quotes About Humor

Instead of a sneeze, what emerged sounded like an elephant strangling on a trumpet.

A small bubble-shaped craft sat on two legs that ended in what looked like oversize duck feet. The bubble was made of green-tinted plastic. There was a small propeller at one end. "Are you kidding me?" Dan asked. "Did you buy that at Target?" "I designed it myself," Alistair said, patting it.

Why does Switzerland look like one big cuckoo clock to me? Dan asked. Because you have no sould, Amy answered.

Did she really tell Roddy Carstairs she could outshoot him with his own pistol? No, Jason said dryly. She told him that if he made one more improper advance to her, she would shoot him- and if she missed, she would turn Wolf loose on him. And if Wolf didn't finish the job, she had every faith I would. Jason chuckled and shook his head. It's the first time I've been nominated for the role of hero. I was a little crushed, however, to be second choice after the dog.

Now they are empty, Ramon replied with a shrug of broad, muscled shoulders on his six-foot-three-inch frame....For the first time, a glint of humor touched Ramon Galverra's finely sculpted mouth and arrogant dark eyes.

As Ian's father had once jokingly remarked of their gifted son, "Ian permits us to raise him because he loves us, not because he thinks we're smarter than he is. He already knows we aren't, but he doesn't want to wound our sensibilities by saying so.

Then based on her own recent experience, the Divine Presence had a cruelly perverse sense of humor and His Grand Plan needed drastic revision.

Nick,please let me go. I can't. His forehead creased into a dark frown of irritated bewilderment. Whenever I see you,I can't seem to let you go. You fired me! He grinned. I just rehired you.

Genç adam spatulay? eline al?p yumurtalar? almaya kalk???nca,Elizabeth'in yüzünde neÅŸeli ve iyimser bir gülümseme belirdi. Gereksiz yere, Yumurtalar tavaya yap??m??, dedi.lan, Hay?r, tavayla bütünleÅŸmiÅŸler, diye cevap verdi. Ama hiç deÄŸilse k?zg?n deÄŸildi.

I am an accomplished flirt and you are a sublime fool.

Someone once called Lincoln two-faced. 'If I am two-faced, would I wear the face that I have now?' Lincoln asked. Abraham Lincoln wasn't much of a dancer. 'Miss Todd, I should like to dance with you in the worst way,' he told his future wife. Miss Todd later said to a friend, 'He certainly did.' John Quincy Adams was a first-rate swimmer. Once when he was skinny-dipping in the Potomac River, a women reporter snatched his clothes and sat on them until he gave her an interview.

Someone threw a cabbage at William Howard Taft. That didn't bother Taft. He quipped, I see that one of my adversaries has lost his head.

Abraham Lincoln wasn't much of a dancer. Miss Todd, I should like to dance with you in the worst way, he told his future wife. Miss Todd later said to a friend, He certainly did. John Quincy Adams was a first-rate swimmer. Once when he was skinny-dipping in the Potomac River, a women reporter snatched his clothes and sat on them until he gave her an interview. (Andrew Johnson couldn't read until he was fourteen! He didn't learn to write until after he was married!)

I was about to drop a light one on his forehead when he reached up, grabbed me around the neck and pulled me down. Then he planted a big, wet smackeroo right in the middle of my face. "Sweet dreams, Pete!

He even brags about his poops

I thought how great it would be if we could trade in Fudge for a nice cocker spaniel.

After drinking eight cups in a row, then walking home from school, then waiting for the elevator, then digging out my key and unlocking the door to our apartment, then dashing down the hall to the bathroom, I really had to pee. I mean, really. But Fudge was already in there, sitting on the toilet, turning the pages of Arthur the Anteater.

That night after supper, Jimmy and I used up a whole jar of Noxzema. We had sunburned faces, necks and ears. Our ears hurt more than anything. "Why didn't you use suntan lotion?" Mom asked. "I never burn," Jimmy said. "Famous last words," Grandma said.

Dingleberry: a small clot of dung, as clinging to the hindquarters of an animal.

It's very foolish to laugh if you don't know what's funny in the first place.

Yet," Fudge said. Then he took off again, laughing like a lunatic.

My ears are too beeg for my head. My head ees too beeg for my body. I am not a Siamese cat ... I AM A CHIHUAHUA! -- Skippyjon Jones (In his very best Spanish accent)

My name is Skippito Friskito. (clap-clap) I fear not a single bandito. (clap-clap) My manners are mellow, I'm sweet like the Jell-o, I get the job done, yes indeed-o. (clap-clap)

Porque la risa es una función esencial de nuestra naturaleza. ¿Cómo soportar la vida si no podemos reír, al menos en los intervalos entre nuestros dolores?