Quotes About Humor

What am I doing wrong?" He inclined his head at her. "Oh, do you think someone as dumb as me might be able to tell you?" he asked in a mock-sweet tone.

Yes, Cassandra. I do mean your Madelyn. And, no, I'm not joking, Horace. And, yes, Gilan, I am aware that Madelyn is a girl.

He wondered if he should mention the fact that Halt had been looking for her, then decided that, if he did so, his wife might hit him with the wooden serving ladle that lay close to her right hand. "Of course," he said, hiding his smile. He noted with relief that Sandra moved her hand away from the heavy ladle.

Jij bent getraind in uren stilzitten, terwijl een heel mierenleger over je heen marcheert en allebei je benen slapen... Jij hebt het maar makkelijk. Jij kunt tenminste nog door dat gaatje kijken!' Will keek hem geërgerd aan. 'Wat moet het erg zijn om jou te zijn,' fluisterde hij gemeen. 'Zo'n groot lijf vol kriebelende mieren, en dan nog geen kijkgaatje ook!' 'Ach, hou je bek,' zei Arnaut. Iets slimmers wist hij niet te verzinnen.

Remember no one expects you to be Halt. He's a legend, after all. Haven't you heard? He's eight feet tall and kills bears with his bare hands...

If they invent a four legged chicken," Will said, "Horace will think he's gone to Heaven.

Halt regarded him. He loved Horace like a younger brother. Even like a second son, after Will. He admired his skill with a sword and his courage in battle. But sometimes, just sometimes, he felt an overwhelming desire to ram the young warrior's head against a convenient tree. "You have no sense of drama or symbolism, do you?" he asked. "Huh?" replied Horace, not quite understanding. Halt looked around for a convenient tree. Luckily for Horace, there were none in sight.

Ah, Signor Halt,' he said uncertainly, 'you are making a joke, yes?' 'He is making a joke, no,' Will said. 'But he likes to think he is making a joke, yes.

If I were a politician, I could prove that monkeys talk.

Epitaphs for some Space Beasts ... He died because he split his skin. He should have opened first the tin! The sharp-toothed CATTYBAT lies here. It bit a thousand legs each year. One night while dreaming in its bed It bit itself and woke up dead! ... Wes Magee

Life is a jest; and all things show it.I thought so once; but now I know it.

we see this tendency to throw off restraints in life, in art - it's an inglorious gesture of thumbing the nose - it makes me laugh...

lago to amuse the audience, especially since Othello (like Macbeth) has no sense of humour.

You realize how many times you have to wet your thumb when you're counting out a million?" "You're shitting me. They must have a machine or something." "Right. A machine that wets their thumbs.

Being dead is an improvement on a lot of things I can think of. Trying to sell mutual funds, for example.

I even went to the source of all wisdom, I went and knelt at the great Queen of Drag's feet and asked her how to find love. She backhanded me in between verses of Whitney Houston and told me if she knew, why in fuck would she be here ?

It was cool for a couple of weeks, but how much bad golf can you play?

There are times when it is appropriate, even preferable, to get an erection when someone's face is in close proximity to your penis. This was not one of those times.

You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friend's nose.

Only then did I see. Something was amiss with Patrick's snap-on one piece, or "onesie" as we manly dads like to call it. His chubby thighs, I now realized, were squeezed into the armholes, which were so tight they must have been cutting off his circulation. The collared neck hung between his legs like an udder. Up top, Patrick's head stuck out through the unsnapped crotch, and his arms were lost somewhere in the billowing pant legs. It was quite a look.

Life is God's joke on us. It's our mission to figure out the punchline.

There are two secrets to a successful marriage. The first is having a husband who makes you laugh. The second is never telling your husband what you're laughing at.

Yeah, where I come from, we eat our sushi cooked—medium rare. And it's made out of a cow.

An elephant is a mouse, built to government specifications.