Quotes About Humor

Green pine trees, cranes and turtles ... You must tell a story of your hard times And laugh twice.

The moon is made of a green cheese.

My type of humor is me not caring whether people know what I'm talking about or not.

One can always come up with funny lists and jokes. You know what? I take it back. Not everyone can always come up with funny lists and some jokes. I'm very lucky to have a gift where I can do that pretty ably.

Generally speaking, I think it is fair to say that I am a friend to the creatures of the Earth when I am not busy eating them or wearing them.

It is hard work and great art to make life not so serious.

Where in the hell did you learn to fly, Horneman? Microsoft?

I'm a handy-challenged, bona fide egghead who wouldn't know a drill bit from a sledgehammer." Now We Know Why It's Called a Punch List due for publication in 2019

los mejores chistes son lo que solo pueden escucharse a solas.

se dijo, los mejores chistes son lo que solo pueden escucharse a solas.

It was thus that the keynote of existence was struck for me, one of mirth even in the dark of storm, and that I have since become the oldest man that ever lived, and shall doubtless continue to the end of time to hold the record for longevity, I attribute to nothing else than that, thanks to my father's droll humor, I was born smiling.

Fishin' for whales is a nice gentle sport as long as you don't catch any.

When my brain begins to reel from my literary labors, I make an occassional cheese dip.

Being funny is one of my greatest strengths. I can make girls smile when they're down, and when they're having a good time, I can carry on the joke.

You can't do anything to be funny. That's cringeworthy. If your humor comes out of a place of love every time, you don't make the joke bigger than you. The funniest comedians are in touch with their emotional level.

Joe Barbera's s always complaining that he can't get humor into cartoons anymore. Just do it. You've got your money. Why do they let the networks run their lives?

I'll let you in on a secret: I can't stand Jay Ward. I hate being compared to Rocky and Bullwinkle. It's just a different style of humor.

I wouldn't want to be treading too close behind you with the Pyms and the Fermanaghs in this Lobster Quadrille. You never know, I might wear me brown boots with me blue suit, and that would never do.

So Donald Trump and Sarah Palin are both drowning in the pool right in front of you, and you know there's only going to be a minute or two before one or both of them goes under. Here's the question: What kind of sandwich do you make?

And then Ginny jumping in with, "So Donald Trump and Sarah Palin are both drowning in the pool right in front of you, and you know there's only going to be a minute or two before one or both of them goes under. Here's the question: What kind of sandwich do you make?

Academics tend to have wonderfully infantile senses of humor.

I always knew I'd be preaching to the choir. Slap the title 'Dumpty' on a book of political humor, and your bias is glaringly obvious. From the beginning, I've intended these verses for people who oppose our current President, hoping to briefly yank them out of their chronic depression at his persistent grip on executive power.

Almost any domestic cat can run faster than Usain Bolt.

The phrase "cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey" is often said to refer to a metallic grid with circular holes in it, set under a pyramid of cannonballs on a ship's deck to keep it stable. When this "brass monkey" got cold enough, the metal contracted and the cannonballs all popped out. In fact, the phrase means exactly what it says; the fake nautical euphemism is an attempt to make its rude humor more acceptable.