Quotes About Humor

Maybe I should write 'Tiger Who?' on my cap.

No one who hired Siegfried & Roy was shocked when they brought a tiger onstage. So you shouldn't be shocked if you book a comedian and she points out that the emperor has no clothes.

I just wasn't cut out to be a Chinese Tiger Mom. I'm more of an Irish Setter Dad.

At Tiger Stadium, the dugouts are so low that you walk in and hit your head on the ceiling. People would say, 'Don't feel bad. Ty Cobb did the same thing.'

Those hot pants of hers were so damned tight, I could hardly breathe.

I thought I would dress in baggy pants, big shoes, a cane and a derby hat. everything a contradiction: the pants baggy, the coat tight, the hat small and the shoes large.

The connection between pathos and broad comedy is very tight. But you do far more work in a comedy scene than you do in a straight scene. It's much harder.

If you're improvising with Paul Reiser, man, you'd better hold on tight!

The first song I wrote was called 'Baby Darling Darling Girl,' and you know what's funny? It went, 'Baby darling darling girl, I really love your Jheri Curl.' I thought it was tight as hell.

I am a bit sickie happy. I am prone to black clouds too, but... I am embarrassed about them. It's like: 'My diamond shoes are too tight. My money clip doesn't fit all my fifties.' I mean - really. Shut up.

My worst fashion failure was when I wore tight PVC pants, and I had a show in Eugene, Oregon... my pants split down the center.

Whoa… who are you, my knights in shining denim?

The cook was a good cook, as cooks go; and as cooks go, she went.

Some are born to greatness and some have greatness thrust upon them for blowing off the hands and feet of Nicaraguan coffee harvesters. The rest of us are forced to work. It's amusing but nothing logical or scientific.

Your Majesty, I'm afraid everything that could possibly go wrong is going wrong," said Major Sir Michael Parker, an impresario for royal events with an expertise in pyrotechnics. "Oh good, what fun!" she replied with a smile.

But attention focused on their inane sexual banter, especially Charles's juvenile wish to be reincarnated as a tampon so he could "live inside your trousers.

You never saw a fish on the wall with its mouth shut.

I use humour to hide behind, because I cannot bear to feel my feelings, cannot face the truth.

he laughed loudly, tossed his beer can and cigarette into the compost bin,

People are funny, and in the most tragic situations, when comedy erupts from nowhere, it can turn on its head within the space of a second or a minute. You're laughing one minute and you're crying the next and that's just life for me, and that is what people are like.

Lady Beatrice grunted and turned to Emma. "Here is your escort, dear." She shook the elderly man's arm and shouted in his ear, "This is Miss Peterson, Mr. Maxwell. You'll be taking her in to dinner." "What? Thinner?" Mr. Maxwell was so bent over, his face was only inches above Emma's bosom. "Sacrilege! Don't take an ounce off 'em, my dear." Emma stepped back before a bit of drool hit her bodice.

And Mama and Papa did have ten children.... It was all exceedingly embarrassing. Mary

My new movie, Fools Rush In, is a romantic comedy and the girl I play in that is very warm, very sweet.

Since I don't smoke, I decided to grow a mustache - it is better for the health. However, I always carried a jewel-studded cigarette case in which, instead of tobacco, were carefully placed several mustaches, Adolphe Menjou style. I offered them politely to my friends: "Mustache? Mustache? Mustache?" Nobody dared to touch them. This was my test regarding the sacred aspect of mustaches.