Quotes About Humor

Embora nominalmente pertençam à sala, com o tempo, os auxiliares acomodam-se aos hábitos e práticas da cozinha e começam a adquirir a mesma visão do mundo: aquela perspetiva xenófoba e ligeiramente paranóica em relação a tudo o que possa existir para lá das portas da cozinha, o mesmo sentido de humor macabro e a desconfiança em relação ao pessoal que não pertence à cozinha.

Uma frigideira de saltear como deve de ser, por exemplo, deve ser capaz de causar sérios estragos cerebrais se baterem com ela na cabeça de alguém. Se têm sérias dúvidas sobre qual é que se vai amachucar – a cabeça da vítima ou a sua frigideira – então atirem a frigideira para o lixo.

The next folks to arrive will be the cat-food people. Think about that when you see the 'Discount Sushi' sign.

Desde então tenho visto que praticamente toda a gente no negócio da carne é engraçada – assim como praticamente toda a gente no negócio do peixe não tem graça nenhuma.

I should put reindeer on our Christmas menu,' I mused out loud. 'Can you picture it? All those crying kids, wondering if that's a chunk of Rudolph or Blitzen lying on their plate?' 'I take it you don't have children,' observed Zamir.

Nothing too serious. Just enough facility with a knife to be on a par with any Sicilian grandmother.

Fortunately, octo-cannibalism is the sort of thing that leaves me morally outraged without actually ruining my appetite

Pfffrrrummmp. And a very happy New Year to you too, Mr Enderby!

Besame los yarblocos- El lerdo

when Arnold Schoenberg replied to a student who had dreamed of composing a "soaring melody," that the proper word, surely, was "snoring." Such puns could be funny, cruel, and tone-deaf (in seven nations and twelve tones), comments of exasperation as often as they were attempts at endearment.

Rick Rubin and I had been talking about sarcasm a lot. Rick had read a theory that it was an incredibly detrimental form of humor that depresses the spirit of its proponents.

Stranded, stranded, stranded on the toilet bowl/What do you do when you're stranded and there ain't nothing on the roll?/To prove you're a man, you must wipe with your hand/Stranded, stranded, stranded on the toilet bowl.

My brother is a strange fellow, said Bernard, speaking with terrible bonhomie.

Torquil Fosdick is a funny boy, isn't he?    He certainly is.    I should think he was—well, at least I mean, you know—at least I should think anyone would think so, wouldn't you?    Oh yes, I should think so. If they took the trouble to think about him, I mean.

He laughed a lot, and this would have been the moment to leave him, and go on our way. We should probably have escaped without further trouble if Templer—feeling no doubt that Stringham had been occupying too much of the stage—had not begun to shoot out radiations towards Le Bas, long and short, like an ocular Morse code, saying at the same time in his naturally rather harsh voice: 'I am afraid we very nearly jumped on you, sir.

There are moments in which stupid people say clever things, obtuse people say sharp things, and good-natured people say ill-natured things.

The form and face of Lady Eustace, which indeed were very lovely, were distasteful to her; whereas she delighted to look upon the broad, plain, colourless countenance of Lydia Fawn, who was endeared to her by frank good humour and an unselfish disposition. In regard to men she had never asked herself the question whether this man was handsome or that man ugly.

A joke that required to be laughed at was, with him, not worth uttering. He could appreciate by a keener sense than that of his ears the success of his wit, and would see in the eyes of his audience whether or no he was understood and appreciated.

He was not witty, nor did he deal in anecdotes.

When a man tells me that a horse is an armchair, I always tell him to put the brute into his bedroom.

Sé practico: regala un ataúd

What can you answer? Now be careful, don't arouse my spite, Or with my slipper I'll take you napping, faces slapping Left and right.

You cannot teach a crab to walk straight.

shit yourself