Quotes About Humor

Humor to me, Heaven help me, takes in many things. There must be courage; there must be no awe. There must be criticism, for humor, to my mind, is encapsulated in criticism. There must be a disciplined eye and a wild mind. There must be a magnificent disregard of your reader, for if he cannot follow you, there is nothing you can do about it.

Amo i Martini, ma due al massimo. Tre, e sono sotto al tavolo. Quattro, e sono sotto il cameriere.

I hate almost all rich people, but I think I'd be darling at it.

When you're wondering whether you're obligated to finish a book, keep these wise words in mind: It is not a novel to be thrown aside lightly. It should be thrown aside with great force.

If you have any young friends who aspire to become writers, the second greatest favor you can do them is to present them with copies of The Elements of Style. The first greatest, of course, is to shoot them now, while they're happy.

If you have any young friends who aspire to become writers, the second-greatest favor you can do them is to present them with copies of The Elements of Style. The first-greatest, of course, is to shoot them now, while they're happy.

If you have any young friends who aspire to become writers, the second greatest favor you can do for them is to present them with copies of The Elements of Style. The first greatest, of course, is to shoot them now, while they're happy.

What can you say, when a man asks you to dance with him? I most certainly will not dance with you, I'll see you in hell first. Why, thank you, I'd like to awfully, but I'm having labor pains.

I just lost all my strength of purpose - maybe the maid will find it on the floor in the morning.

She couldn't have found anything nastier to say if she had thought it out with both hands for a fortnight.

I Didn't Ask to Be a Senior Citizen (I Was Drafted)

So this is it, said Arthur, We are going to die. Yes, said Ford, except... no! Wait a minute! He suddenly lunged across the chamber at something behind Arthur's line of vision. What's this switch? he cried. What? Where? cried Arthur, twisting round. No, I was only fooling, said Ford, we are going to die after all.

God's Final Message to His Creation: 'We apologize for the inconvenience.

It can hardly be a coincidence that no language on earth has ever produced the expression, 'As pretty as an airport.

Arthur: If I asked you where the hell we were, would I regret it? Ford: We're safe. Arthur: Oh good. Ford: We're in a small galley cabin in one of the spaceships of the Vogon Constructor Fleet. Arthur: Ah, this is obviously some strange use of the word safe that I wasn't previously aware of.

Just believe everything I tell you, and it will all be very, very simple. Ah, well, I'm not sure I believe that.

What's so unpleasant about being drunk? Ask a glass of water!

Capital Letters Were Always The Best Way Of Dealing With Things You Didn't Have A Good Answer To.

and then I decided I was a lemon for a couple of weeks.

He was a dreamer, a thinker, a speculative philosopher... or, as his wife would have it, an idiot.

42 is a nice number that you can take home and introduce to your family.

Simple. I got very bored and depressed, so I went and plugged myself in to its external computer feed. I talked to the computer at great length and explained my view of the Universe to it, said Marvin. And what happened? pressed Ford. It committed suicide, said Marvin and stalked off back to the Heart of Gold.

One is never alone with a rubber duck.

Ow! My brains!