Quotes About Humor

Hey, you sass that hoopy Ford Prefect? There's a frood who really knows where his towel is. (Sass: know, be aware of, meet, have sex with; hoopy: really together guy; frood: really amazingly together guy.)

What's up? [asked Ford.] I don't know, said Marvin, I've never been there.

Shee, you guys are so unhip it's a wonder your bums don't fall off.

Sorry, did I say something wrong? said Marvin, dragging himself on regardless. Pardon me for breathing, which I never do anyway so I don't know why I bother to say it, oh God I'm so depressed. Here's another one of those self-satisfied doors. Life ! Don't talk to me about life.

Arthur felt happy. He was terribly pleased that the day was for once working out so much according to plan. Only twenty minutes ago he had decided he would go mad, and now here he was already chasing a Chesterfield sofa across the fields of prehistoric Earth.

If you took a couple of David Bowies and stuck one of the David Bowies on the top of the other David Bowie, then attached another David Bowie to the end of each of the arms of the upper of the first two David Bowies and wrapped the whole business up in a dirty beach robe you would then have something which didn't exactly look like John Watson, but which those who knew him would find hauntingly familiar.

Don't blame you, said Marvin and counted five hundred and ninety-seven thousand million sheep before falling asleep again a second later.

I'm so great even I get tongue-tied talking to myself.

This man is the bee's knees, Arthur, he is the wasp's nipples. He is, I would go so far as to say, the entire set of erogenous zones of every major flying insect of the Western world.

It is most gratifying, it said, that your enthusiasm for our planet continues unabated, and so we would like to assure you that the guided missiles currently converging with your ship are part of a special service we extend to all of our most enthusiastic clients, and the fully armed nuclear warheads are of course merely a courtesy detail. We look forward to your custom in future lives ... thank you.

Even a manically depressed robot is better to talk to than nobody.

So the hours are pretty good then?' he resumed. The Vogon stared down at him as sluggish thoughts moiled around in the murky depths. Yeah,' he said, 'but now you come to mention it, most of the actual minutes are pretty lousy.

Arthur shook his head and sat down. He looked up. "I thought you must be dead …" he said simply. "So did I for a while," said Ford, "and then I decided I was a lemon for a couple of weeks. I kept myself amused all that time jumping in and out of a gin and tonic.

It's unpleasantly like being drunk. What's so unpleasant about being drunk? You ask a glass of water.

Very deep. You should send that in to the Reader's Digest. They've got a page for people like you.

You may not instantly see why I bring the subject up, but that is because my mind works so phenomenally fast, and I am at a rough estimate thirty billion times more intelligent than you. Let me give you an example. Think of a number, any number." "Er, five," said the mattress. "Wrong," said Marvin. "You see?

Marvin was humming ironically because he hated humans so much.

I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.

Oh dear,' says God, 'I hadn't thought of that,' and promptly vanishes in a puff of logic.

I've had the sort of day that would make St. Francis of Assisi kick babies.

I teleported home last night with Ron and Sid and Meg Ron stole Meggy's heart away and I got Sidney's leg.

My absolute favourite piece of information is the fact that young sloths are so inept that they frequently grab their own arms and legs instead of tree limbs, and fall out of trees.

What do you get if you multiply six by nine? Six by nine. Forty two. That's it. That's all there is. I always thought something was fundamentally wrong with the universe

something almost, but not quite entirely unlike tea