Quotes About Humor

I quite like bacon sandwiches because they're colourful. Mashed potato on toast is fine. But colourful and easy to eat is best.

When 'Toast' got on Netflix, I noticed a difference. It was something I thought that only myself and a few people would find funny, and suddenly it's on a very large platform. Now it kind of belongs to everyone.

It's a different world: when I'm writing 'Toast,' I've got one foot in 1974 and one foot in the modern day, because the modern day is nowhere near as funny or interesting.

You know you poor when you eatin' breakfast food late. You fryin' toast? At nine o'clock at night? With bacon? You're broke.

What I love about 'Toast' is that there's always new stuff you can do with him.

I am the host with the challah French toast.

What I would love to do is more telly comedy. I did a tiny bit in 'Toast of London' and was in one episode of Catherine Tate's 'Nan.' I was crying with laughter.

Never put a sock in a toaster.

'USA Today' once did a big article called, 'Who said it? Was it Norm or George Bush?' They had quotes of mine and quotes of his, and they went to some congressmen and senators and said, 'Who said it?' It was hysterical.

I ran five miles today. Then, finally, I said, 'Here, lady... take your purse.'

He who laughs best today, will also laughs last.

I was a practical joker as a teenager and I still am today - you can ask any of my staff.

Whenever I feel mom-guilt, or I feel pressure to be a better mom - to cook salmon on a bed of quinoa for my kids - I just think to myself, 'I... have... suffered... enough.' And then I feel fine about feeding my toddler a bag of chips for dinner.

I didn't just dip my toe into the pool of romantic comedies.

What I love about the Coen brothers - what everyone loves - is that they sort of toe the line of a truly dark comedy.

My dad every now and then will toe that line and be like, You could try women!' And I'm like Don't. It's almost an endearing kind of homophobia, if such a thing exists.

The way I toe the line with comedy is I run jokes past people.

I want someone who can keep me on my toes, has a good sense of humor and a good heart.

I think writing in a group, even though it can be a challenge - you have to be on your toes all the time - is the way the best comedy gets written. It's very, very collaborative. A lot of comedy writers are definitely introverted nerds.

I was in Liverpool city center and I thought I broke one of my toes, just by jumping on buses. I put my arm in the door on the outside, and the bus just drives away with me naked.

When it's going well, stand-up is the best thing in the world, but when it's not, it feels like all your toes are being pulled off one by one.

I've got freakishly large big toes. They look like the ace of spades.

The image people have of comedians staring defiantly over a stationary line of good taste is simply inaccurate. We don't approach this line, put our toes over it arrogantly and then scamper back to safety. The line doesn't exist.

Gambling has brought our family together. We had to move to a smaller house.