Quotes About Humor

I love Benny Hill. He one of my favourites of aaall time. Like, the way Benny did it, he was just amazing. Just seeing how he put songs together and comedy and the timing and the sketches. He was way ahead of his time.

I met Woz when I was 13, at a friend's garage. He was about 18. He was, like, the first person I met who knew more electronics than I did at that point. We became good friends, because we shared an interest in computers and we had a sense of humor. We pulled all kinds of pranks together.

Laughter is a uniting force, it brings people together, and it makes hardship easier.

The thing is about Cheech & Chong, we've brought more families together than Dr. Phil.

You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar.

One time I tried to use the bathroom in the dark, and I missed the toilet, and I fell on the floor.

If there's anything I love after my wife and my kids, it's my toilet. I am king there.

You do live longer with bran, but you spend the last fifteen years on the toilet.

I was sitting in the toilet and I was by myself. I was tired of playing with the roller, so I said I'd better write a book.

I'm a little thirsty, can I go drink out of your toilet?

We actually had a toilet on the sideline in college. We had like a little mini-toilet; we'd go and flush it.

Can you imagine a guy breaking into your car, and he steals your guitar case 'cause he thinks it's a guitar, and he gets it home and opens it up and there's a rake inside it, an electric toilet plunger and a dog skull? That actually happened.

I've got four kids - I unblock a toilet every day.

Now, as husbands go, I have to admit I did all right. Joe is unquestionably handsome, doesn't leave ragged toenail clippings scattered about the house, and has never once, in nearly five thousand days of togetherness, left the toilet seat up.

When I got my Oprah money, the first thing I bought was a really nice electronic bidet toilet seat.

I've spiked a toilet seat before, a gallon of milk, even eggs. If you say it, I've probably spiked it before.

My Twitter is a joke toilet, and I filter all these old, cringe-y parts of my brother and my childhood through that in an attempt to flush it down the drain forever.

I'd like to say I'm a very silly man. But I'm not that silly. I'm not throwing any diamond ring down a toilet.

There's nothing quite like exiting a toilet cubicle and seeing a girl running towards you with her hand over her mouth.

For some reason, the only Swedish I know how to say is, 'There is no toilet paper.'

The only reason I'd bring a Bible out here is if I needed toilet paper.

It used to be that comic strips were the big thing, and comic books were toilet paper.

When I started as a color man in the booth with CBS, I would make footballs out of a roll of toilet paper.

Toilets are the best place for awards.