Quotes About Humor

But I think you can make fun of anything as long as it's funny enough.

Einstein. Where did you learn to kiss like that?" I laughed "Would you believe books?" "No. I would not believe books.

Mike only laughed. "'Methinks the lady doth protest too much.'" Gigi - "Methinks that is the only Shakespeare line thou doth know.

I practically fall on the floor laughing.

I think she's pulling your leg about something. She's a married girl, isn't she?' 'Yes.' 'I thought she was. You'd never know it. If I was her husband, I'd smack her behind... How about you?' 'Yes, I'd smack it too.' He drew in his lower lip in a silent guffaw. 'No, I mean, have you got a chap? Is that what she's smiling at? He's going to come and black my eye for me, is he?

Oh, just look at him! Like a great big turnip, isn't he? We're hoping he'll grow into his head. And his big brother there was just the opposite... Oh, his head was that small, you could've darned your stocking on it!

That she cried over the loss of a dog whose big claim to fame was that he could eat the crotch out of a pair of clean underpants in less than a minute?

I was rolling my eyes so hard that I was sure one of my retinas had just detached itself

Neve: 'Have I told you how much I hate you lately?' Celia: 'All the time and right back at you.

Sometimes it frightens me how much I enjoy behaving like a complete cow.

Curiosity, irreverence, imagination, sense of humor, a free and open mind, an acceptance of the relativity of values and of the uncertainty of life, all inevitably fuse into the kind of person whose greatest joy is creation.

Asking a sociologist to solve a problem is like prescribing an enema for diarrhea.

Jamie and the others come from a culture in which a fire alarm doesn't mean fire; it just means you get to go and stand outside and giggle for awhile. But a prawn or a peanut could still kill you.

For the record, I am not a nut. I am an optimist. That's exactly like a nut except with a better attitude.

As a rule, I don't like to laugh at the misfortune of others. The exception to that rule is if it's really, really funny.

They say that God is watching everyone all the time, so he'd always get to see his jokes play out. If so, he's laughing his butt off, assuming God has a butt, which is unlikely, since butts are also an obvious practical joke.

As long as there are annoying people in the world, I won't run out of material.

Scientists will eventually stop flailing around with solar power and focus their efforts on harnessing the only truly unlimited source of energy on the planet: stupidity. I predict that in the future, scientists will learn how to convert stupidity into clean fuel.

And bring me a hard copy of the Internet so I can do some serious surfing.

It doesn't take many people to have a bad sense of humor to get in trouble at a corporation.

Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he'll buy a funny hat. Talk to a hungry man about fish, and you're a consultant.

The best things in life are silly.

When life gives you lemons... choke on them and die... you stupid lemon eater.

In a clever retort, alluding to both his considerable girth and to his network of influential friends abroad, the agronomist replied, "Your Excellency, the weight of my body would break the gallows with a noise loud enough to be heard in America.