Quotes About Humor

Not baked goods! BAKED BADS!!!!" --The Tick

You think I look like a teletubby?

What the matter wit' your momma? She only know one name?' Stone

You haven't lived until you've been screamed at by an Elvis impersonator until AAA shows up.

We're sorry to bother you at a time like this," Drebin says. "We would have come earlier, but your husband wasn't dead then.

He wil sooner lose his best friend, then his least jest.

On various occasions I'd said to a woman I was interested in, "I would invite you to dinner, but I can't cook," at which point I would hope she'd say, "I'm a great cook," so I could ask her to come over and teach me; then we'd get drunk in the kitchen while I displayed what I hoped was my endearing clumsiness, never learning anything.

And so, as the bombs fell around him, this heroic British undertaker sat in his own grave, wearing his swimming trunks and a helmet, drinking a nice up of tea.

Horsfall was fond of practical jokes. He once wired up a toilet seat to a battery and waited for a girlfriend to use it. 'The scream that Kath gave when the magneto was turned on was most satisfying,' he recalled. He even wrote a poem to commemorate the occasion. I gave her time to start her piddle Then gave the thing a violent twiddle Before I could complete a turn She closed the circuit with her stern, And shooting off the wooden seat Emitted a most piercing shriek.

Jens was small with a long fair mustache. Winter was enormous, roughly the size of a large door. I called them Asterix and Obelix. We got on frightfully well.

A farmer by birth, Purchase was 'rugged in appearance and character,' with 'an impish sense of humor' and a finely calibrated sense of the ridiculous: he loved Gilbert and Sullivan operas, toy trains, boiled eggs, and his model piggery in Ipswitch.

clerihew: Fuchs Looks Like an ascetic Theoretic

Everyone always says, 'Don't you want to see the baby, don't you want to see the baby,' but if I did want to see a fat, bald, confused person, obviously I'd have only to look in the mirror.

The other day, a friend of a friend said that everyone started out as girls, but boys evolved… But don't worry girls, I hit him.

You're looking at me, chair,' he said. 'You don't want me to sit on you, eh, because I fell in mud, isn't that correct?' The chair said nothing.

I still say Kellyanne could do with some real-live mates," went on my dad, as if he was talking to someone inside his beer. Mum had stomped off into the kitchen. "Maybe they are real!" she shouted back at him after rattling a few plates together. "Ever thought about that, ye of little bloody imagination?

I could never decide whether Tim's dry sense of humor was a defense mechanism or whether he was as truly immune as he seemed to the stress and criticism that came with his high-profile jobs.

He laughed. "That counts for a lot in this office," he

The president tried to pretend that he didn't notice, but before long he burst out laughing.

Actually, sir, Mr Fink-Nottle was asking after you. He's gone up to the bar.' 'Gussie, Gussie, Gussie,' I sang to myself while striding to the oasis, 'a guinea to a gooseberry the booby's in a pickle.' 'Bertie, I'm in a pickle.' 'What-ho, Gussie. I had a sort of feeling you might be.

Hypocrisy as humor pushes destruction of standards.

Charlie says kissing is like baseball without the bat," Sam said. "I think it's more like fotball without the pads," Tess laughed. "You ever kiss a girl?" "Nah" Sam said. "Tried once, but Stacie Bing popped me in the nose and knocked me out. I woke up in the principal's office." "Really?" "Swear.

I don't think the public is dying to see me necessarily be funny all the time.

Jim Carrey, a comic genius, has a harder time overcoming the public's desire for him to be funny simply because he's so good at it.