Quotes About Humor

Vespasian continued his down-to-earth line in self-deprecating wit right up until his last words: 'Oh dear, I think I'm becoming a god …

Don't be hatin', Hughes," Vaughan said with a grin.

Years ago my mother used to say to me, she'd say, In this world, Elwood, you must be - she always called me Elwood - In this world, Elwood, you must be oh so smart or oh so pleasant. Well, for years I was smart. I recommend pleasant. You may quote me.

In this world, you must be oh so smart, or oh so pleasant. Well, for years I was smart. I recommend pleasant. ~Elwood P. Dowd

In this world, Elwood, you must be oh so smart or oh so pleasant. ' Well, for years I was smart. I recommend pleasant. You may quote me.

Of course she'd told him she would, but if the man hadn't registered her sarcasm, then he wasn't making full use of his ears.

Are they supposed to cry so much and giggle every second when they're not crying? They never quit finding something so funny that I thought it'd break my eardrums a few times.

Have you ever thought about a Twelve Step program for people who talk too much? You could call it On and On Anon.

You ever hear that old joke about the guy who jumped off the Empire State Building? D.W. asked her. Yeah. All the way down, you could hear him say, 'So far, so good. So far, so good. So far, so good.' That is George's life story in a nutshell.

And she laughed, a full octave, descending from high C like chimes.

Say what you will about Mormons, but they are very fine dancers.

Anne shrieked with laughter, but George yelled, "I don't suppose we could get a little gravity around here?" and D.W. hollered back, Nope. All we got is levity." And thus began the first morning of the Jesuit mission to Rakhat. [148]

Listen', he said seriously, 'I'm not just wasting your time telling funny stories. You have to know about stuff like this or your program is going to claim it's found intelligent life on Mars. And everyone knows there's only Australians there, right?

Eat a toad first thing in the morning; the rest of the day will seem pleasurable by comparison

Three Catholic priests are having dinner: a Franciscan, a Dominican, and a Jesuit. Suddenly the lights go out. The Franciscan says, "Let us welcome Sister Darkness and wait patiently for Brother Sunlight to return." The Dominican says, "God gives us the darkness of ignorance so that we might, by contrast, discern the light of truth." The Jesuit finds a flashlight and goes downstairs to flip the breaker.

My life has a certain amusing symmetry, if viewed with sufficient detachment.

By the time we got to Ferrington, I was laughing at Will's stories about Rockpoint High. It seemed the kids gave the teachers a hard time; they were always cutting up and saying funny things. Will was good at imitating their Down-East accents, but I had a feeling Susan was right about his not having any friends. It was as though Will spent most of his school day watching and listening.

By the time we got to Ferrington, I was laughing at Will's stories about Rockpoint High. It seemed the kids gave the teachers a hard time; they were always cutting up and saying funny things. Will was good at imitating their Down-East accents, but I had a feeling Susan was right about his not having any friends. It sounded as if he spent most of his school day watching and listening.

Over days and weeks and months, he helped me feel that I was part of humanity, and not with his kindness alone; it was his silliness, his humor, his dirtiness that rekindled my spirit.

Everybody wanted to be depressed. But your depression was supposed to be funny, too, and that was what had proved too much for Dolores.

She doesn't think that the mean people she knows are the most passionate; they just want to laugh at everything. But then she remembers that she laughed when a boy in class played a joke on an ugly girl and made her cry.

Of course, Veronica had a lot of smart cracks stored up. She needed them. When she didn't have them, she was naked and everybody saw.

I get so lonely sometimes, I could put a box on my head and mail myself to a stranger.

Standing in the shower, I feel something on the back of my leg that turns out to be my ass.