Quotes About Joke

Or if I truly gave up I could be like Wet Lindsay. When Robbie dumped her she got all pale and even wetter than normal. She was like an anoraksick. (A person who is both very thin and wears tragic anoraks.) I just made that up as a joke. Even though I am very upset I can still think of a joke.

All great humorists are sad.... I cannot help seeing beyond the tinsel of humour, and recognising the pitiful basis of jest--the world is indeed comic, but the joke is on mankind.

You'll never guess what I got you for your birthday because I didn't get you anything for your birthday.

You want a story? Read 'Gone With the Wind'. These aren't stories. They're joke books. The whole thing of a beginning, a middle and an end has been done to death.

When our kids are asked by their friends about the success of the longevity of our marriage, they simply joke that Tamar and I have spent so little time together that 'it's really too early to tell' if our marriage will, in fact, succeed.

It's now become a joke in my family that as soon as I finish a job, I'm on a loop saying, 'I'm never going to work again' - it drives everyone mad!

This is a wonderful joke to play upon a prisoner, to promise forgiveness.

Is it awful to join in this planning? Is it trying to sell one's sister? But surely Rose can manage to fall in love with them — I mean, with whichever one will fall in love with her. I hope it will be Neil, because I really do think Simon is a little frightening — only it is Neil who thinks England is a joke.

It's the place where reality strikes the ideal, where a joke becomes serious and anything serious is a joke. The magic point where every idea and its opposite are equally true.

Contempt of holy things is the straight road to hell. Once a man begins to make a joke of any part of Christianity, then I am never surprised to hear that he has turned out to be an unbeliever.

Cuando alguien hace una broma o se burla de cualquier parte de la cristiandad, no me sorprende enterarme después de que en realidad no resultó ser un creyente.

I hear the cock woke you up." Eve choked on her coffee. "What?" "Not that kind of cock." Sinead sent a sparkling look over her shoulder. "Though if that's true as well, good for you. I meant the rooster.

It's quiet." "Too quiet," Jason said, then laughed. "That's an ancient joke on Earth." "The more I hear about Urth the stranger it gets.

Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because chickens hadn't been invented back then!

What do you call a snake who works for the government? A civil serpent!

Shakespeare invented the Knock Knock joke, with the first one appearing in his play Macbeth. Here it is (and prepare yourself, it's a cracker)... 'Knock, knock, knock! Who's there, i' th' name of Beelzebub? Here's a farmer that hanged himself on the expectation of plenty. Come in time, have napkins enough about you, here you'll sweat for 't.

One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. "Oh, no," I said. "Disneyland burned down." He cried and cried, but I think that deep down, he thought it was a pretty good joke. I started to drive over to the real Disneyland, but it was getting pretty late.

Elsa's joke Where do baby apes sleep? In apricots!

But at least I have my health," he said. It was a joke.

It was their favorite bitter joke: those who fight against prophecy only draw it more tightly around their throats.

The power of women! I've never felt so full of mysterious power. Men are a joke.

Jack had not only heard Billy Crystal's joke; he was genuinely impressed by Billy's imitation of Jack-as-Melody. "Christ," he said.

I think you actually get a kick out of being disappointed and under-achieving, because it's easier, isn't it? Failure and unhappiness is easier because you can make a joke out of it.

If being broke is a joke then you a funny ni....