Quotes About Self-care

Tactical Breathing 1. Inhale deeply through your nose, expanding your stomach, for a count of four—one, two, three, four. 2. Hold in that breath for a count of four—one, two, three, four. 3. Slowly exhale all the air through your mouth, contracting your stomach, for a count of four—one, two, three, four. 4. Hold the empty breath for a count of four—one, two, three, four.

Other people's emotions are not our jobs. We can't both serve people and try to control their feelings.

I've also learned that the more we diminish our own pain, or rank it compared to what others have survived, the less empathic we are to everyone. That when we surrender our own joy to make those in pain feel less alone or to make ourselves feel less guilty or seem more committed, we deplete ourselves of what it takes to feel fully alive and fueled by purpose.

Talk to yourself the way you'd talk to someone you love. Most of us shame, belittle, and criticize ourselves in ways we'd never think of doing to others.

doing nothing was the only way back for someone totally overwhelmed.

Squandering our gifts brings distress to our lives. As it turns out, it's not merely benign or "too bad" if we don't use the gifts that we've been given; we pay for it with our emotional and physical well-being.

Compassionate people are boundaried people.

Disappointments may be like paper cuts, but if those cuts are deep enough or if we accumulate them over a lifetime, they can leave us seriously wounded.

People learn how to treat us based on how they see us treating ourselves. If I don't put value on my work or my time, neither will the person I'm helping. Boundaries are a function of self respect and self love.

I'm not mad because you're resting. I'm mad because I'm so bone tired and I want to rest. But, unlike you, I'm going to pretend that I don't need to.

I learned how to worry more about how I felt and less about "what people might think." I was setting new boundaries and began to let go of my need to please, perform, and perfect. I started saying no rather than sure (and being resentful and pissed off later). I began to say "Oh, hell yes!" rather than "Sounds fun, but I have lots of work to do" or "I'll do that when I'm _________ (thinner, less busy, better prepared).

Boundaries—You respect my boundaries, and when you're not clear about what's okay and not okay, you ask. You're willing to say no.

The trick for staying out of resentment is maintaining better boundaries - blaming others less and holding myself more accountable for asking for what I need and want.

we find that what we regret most are our failures of courage, whether it's the courage to be kinder, to show up, to say how we feel, to set boundaries, to be good to ourselves, to say yes to something scary.

The edges taught me that the more I used alcohol, food, work, caretaking, and whatever else I could get my hands on to numb my anxiety and vulnerability, the less I would understand my feelings, thoughts, and behaviors.

Disappointments may be like paper cuts, but if those cuts are deep enough or if there are enough of them, they can leave us seriously wounded.

To be kinder and gentler with ourselves and each other. To talk to ourselves the same way we'd talk to someone we care about.

We pay for hate with our lives, and that's too big a price to pay. THERE ARE ALWAYS BOUNDARIES. EVEN IN THE WILDERNESS

one of the most universal numbing strategies is what I call crazy-busy. I often say that when they start having twelve-step meetings for busy-aholics, they'll need to rent out football stadiums. We are a culture of people who've bought into the idea that if we stay busy enough, the truth of our lives won't catch up with us.

Here's what I learned: The heart of compassion is really acceptance. The better we are at accepting ourselves and others, the more compassionate we become. Well, it's difficult to accept people when they are hurting us or taking advantage of us or walking all over us. This research has taught me that if we really want to practice compassion, we have to start by setting boundaries and holding people accountable for their behavior. We

Who do you become when you're backed into that shame corner? How do you protect yourself? Who do you call to work through the mean-nasties or the cry-n-hides or the people-pleasing? What's the most courageous thing you could do for yourself when you feel small and hurt?

First, one of the most universal numbing strategies is what I call crazy-busy. I often say that when they start having twelve-step meetings for busy-aholics, they'll need to rent out football stadiums. We are a culture of people who've bought into the idea that if we stay busy enough, the truth of our lives won't catch up with us.

Talk to yourself like you would to someone you love

Compassionate people ask for what they need. They say no when they need to, and when they say yes, they mean it. They're compassionate because their boundaries keep them out of resentment.