Quotes About Self-care

To talk to ourselves the same way we'd talk to someone we care about.

Self-kindness: Being warm and understanding toward ourselves when we suffer, fail, or feel inadequate, rather than ignoring our pain or flagellating ourselves with self-criticism.

the self-compassion seat is for us. It's a reminder that if we can't cheer ourselves on, we shouldn't expect others to do it. If we don't make our values priorities, we can't ask others to do it for us.

The dig-deep is a secret level of pushing through when we're exhausted and overwhelmed, and when there's too much to do and too little time for self-care.

I've never been in a good place without working out and paying attention to my spiritual life. When

they explained that reducing anxiety meant paying attention to how much they could do and how much was too much, and learning how to say, "Enough." They got very clear on what was important to them and when they could let something go.

lean into the discomfort that comes with straddling compassion and boundaries

With that sense of "enough" comes an embrace of worthiness, boundaries, and engagement.

Take good care" has to do with how we take care of ourselves and each other: I treat my colleagues with respect and compassion by responding when appropriate in a timely and professional manner. I practice gratitude with my team and colleagues. I am mindful of other people's time.

Self-kindness is both more difficult and more revolutionary than we think.

Talk to yourself the way you'd talk to someone you live. Most of us shame, belittle and criticize ourselves in ways we'd never think of doing to others. I would never look at Ellen or Charlie and say, "God, you're so stupid!" Yet I can whisper that to myself in a heartbeat. p158

can only love others as much as we love ourselves.

We all numb. We all have different numbing agents of choice—food, work, social media, shopping, television, video games, porn, booze (from beer in a brown paper bag to the socially acceptable but equally dangerous "fine wine" hobby)—but we all do it. And when we chronically and compulsively turn to these numbing agents, it's addiction, not just taking the edge off.

In addition to helping me understand what love looks like between people, these definitions also forced me to acknowledge that cultivating self-love and self-acceptance is not optional. They aren't endeavors that I can look into if and when I have some spare time. They are priorities.

Stop Beating Yourself Up

Also, don't forget one of our favorite rumble tools: the time-out. When rumbles become unproductive, call a time-out. Give everyone ten minutes to walk around outside or catch their breath. In

On the inside I was really thinking, Who has time for painting and scrapbooking and photography when the real work of achieving and accomplishing needs to be done?

The clearer and more respected the boundaries, the higher the level of empathy and compassion for others. Fewer clear boundaries, less openness. It's hard to stay kind-hearted when you feel people are taking advantage of you or threatening you.

B—Did I respect my own boundaries? Was I clear about what's okay and what's not okay? R—Was I reliable? Did I do what I said I was going to do? A—Did I hold myself accountable? V—Did I respect the vault and share appropriately? I—Did I act from my integrity? N—Did I ask for what I needed? Was I nonjudgmental about needing help? G—Was I generous toward myself?

Generosity is not a free pass for people to take advantage of us, treat us unfairly, or be purposefully disrespectful and mean. What I realized is that a generous assumption without boundaries is another recipe for resentment, misunderstanding, and judgement.

the vowel check: AEIOUY. A = Have I been Abstinent today? (However you define that—I find it a little more challenging when it comes to things like food, work, and the computer.) E = Have I Exercised today? I = What have I done for myself today? O = What have I done for Others today? U = Am I holding on to Unexpressed emotions today? Y = Yeah! What is something good that's happened today?

Self-kindness is self-empathy.

That when we surrender our own joy to make those in pain feel less alone or to make ourselves feel less guilty or seem more committed, we deplete ourselves of what it takes to feel fully alive and fueled by purpose.

We must learn how to respond to ourselves with empathy and understanding. It takes a lot of work to stay out of judgment about others—it takes even more work to stay out of self-judgment.