Quotes About Communication

Sometimes, a word succeeds beyond the wildest dreams of its creators, like a virus sent into the world to infect common speech.

If you can't win by reason, go for volume.

See? This is why I'm not religious. I couldn't possibly keep my mouth shut long enough to get along with everyone else.

Girls, if a boy says something that isn't funny, you don't have to laugh.

First of all, never buy a man a plasma TV until you're married. A lot of men once they have a plasma TV they don't need a girlfriend

Because you've been on dates where y'know, you forget to open your eyes and wear pants and speak English.

When I say something funny in a newspaper and I meant it to be funny, it doesn't read that way.

The Art of Conversation could not die in Australia; it never lived. Television did not kill it; there was nothing there to kill.

Arouse in the other person an eager want.

Today I dialed a wrong number... The other person said, "Hello?" and I said, "Hello, could I speak to Joey?"... They said, "Uh... I don't think so... he's only 2 months old." I said, "I'll wait."

My wife had a go at me last night. She said, Youll drive me to my grave. I had the car out in thirty seconds.

My experience is that people are most likely to listen to reason when in bed.

Don't you DARE use party as a verb in my shop

So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.' He said 'I'm not stopping you.'

I get mail; therefore I am.

[W]ithout humour you cannot run a sweetie-shop, let alone a nation.

I never ask my wife about my flaws. Instead I try to get her to ignore them and concentrate on my sense of humor.

When will all the rhetorical questions end?

The bile makes it better. I am an information wasting machine - 100s of words a day.

Don't boo people! Don't boo! Be more specific! Like, 'WHY ARE YOU DOING THAT?! I HATE THAT! I HATE IT!'

I like to use big words so people will think I know what I'm talking about.

Look, if you wanted to be babied you should have asked Peeta.

Men don't realize that if we're sleeping with them on the first date, we're probably not interested in seeing them again either.

I wrote my friend a letter using a highlighting pen. But he could not read it, he thought I was trying to show him certain parts of a piece of paper.